Me vs. The Bumblebee

I was just lying on the couch watching TV, which I rarely do, but I just had a headache that would not go away. I even used Tylenol Rapid Release. I tried talking to it telling it to leave, then negotiating with it to come back at a later time…it just was not listening. I think I kind of zoned out ½ way through the Simpson’s and that is when I heard the humming noise; I thought to myself did I lose a vibrator in the couch? I opened my eyes and there it was the HUGEST (is that a word) bumblebee I have ever seen. This thing looked like it was on steroids compared to other bees. My first reaction was to punch it in the face (thank you Dane Cook) but it flew away. Its evasion skill was amazing.


Side note: Let it be known if you are with me and there is a bug in the room it is your job to eradicate it on sight.

I grabbed the “Febreeze” and sprayed it, and then I sprayed it again and again. All I seemed to be accomplishing was making Sable and myself sneeze and pissing off the bumblebee. I set the can down and by the time I turned around the bee was coming right at me so I ducked and ran, and yes I screamed like a girl, but that is ok cuz I am. This meant war!!! So I grabbed the bottle of “Fantastic” and sprayed it, it was a direct hit and the bee fell to the floor, the thud resounded while I cheered (really… it was a thud). I move closer to inspect it and it is still moving. I grabbed my sandal and whacked it, it was still moving and I swear one of its eyes was glowing red… I whacked it again and again till it was not only dead but also flat. I got some paper towel picked up the bee and flushed it; I did not want to take the chance of it resurrection from my trashcan. I looked at Sable and thanked her for the excellent patrol and protection skills as she lay there under the coffee table. Turns out she was not sneezing she was laughing. Well at least my headache is gone.