The Secret Life of Bees

Ok total freak out moment at 6am when i woke up to feel something crawing on my hand. I screamed and shook it off since it was big enough to see in the dark, I ran over to filp on the lights and I stumbled backward when i saw my wall covered in bees. (not to be confused with the single bumble bee freak out i posted earlier)

this was a full on -i think i am gonna passout- freak out. I grab Sable and put her on the leash and stare... i did not know what to do, I hurried up and got dressed and then looked for my phone.... i turned on the air conditioner to make the bees think it was a blizzard, this seemed to only make them panic and start flying around. I looked around and that is when i saw it... the hole they dug in the wall. What the hell, did bees have mini shovels, or power tools? how did they make a hole in the wall? I called 911 this is an emergency. meanwhile I am puffing on my inhaler and popping benadryl incase i get stung I am prepared. (ok so i did not dial 911, i called my landlord) and my daddy... not that he could do anything living that far away, but it is reflex...something bad happens i call my daddy. Ok so the landlord gets here with four other men, armed with cans of spray. two came inside and two stayed outside and i just stood there frozen, till they said you might want to go out the back door. Sable and I made a quick exit and i guess they sprayed the whole wall, bees were pissed and flying everywhere, about 20 mins later when the fumes had sorta cleared Sable and I lurked back in to access the damage.... they informed me that they were going to have to go inside the wall...and to my horror inside the wall was...i think i am gonna be sick.... gross, ick, icky, ewww....i still have the creeps.... this:

OMG so gross. so he cuts a hole and scoops out the wall then eventually seals it with tape...yes tape, he asked me for tape. really? it that gonna stop the bees if they come back? they had power tools, i dont think tape is gonna hold them... do you think they will come back? I think i need to move out. What if i wake up in the morning I and am covered in bees? ok gonna go freak out some more.

Angry girl in Action?

All I wanted to do is have a nice relaxing Sunday, but I guess it just was not meant to be. I get the dog and pack up the computer because it seems to be doing this thing where it just shuts down or the screen freezes. Now for the first two months of this I just kind of “oh well” and restarted it now it is getting to the point where I want to launch it out the frockin’ window. I guess I am like that with my anger; I can only channel it for a few months and then, I turn into the spawn of Satan.
So I get the car loaded and set out to my mom and dads house. My dad is like that McGuiver (however you spell his name, spell checker has a red zigzagging line under it) guy and can fix anything.

Buy the way as I am driving the truck in front of me has a nut sack, a tan color sock with what might have been tennis balls in it hanging from the trailer hitch. I don’t know how I noticed it, I usually zone out while I am driving and don’t notice much. This is why I am not a police office. I still want a car like in Knight Rider that talks to me, does not get lost and can drive itself to where I need to go.

(anyway - yes i do get sidetracked easily)

So I have my theory it is the video card, but when my dad opened it up he noticed only 3 of the 4 fans on the inside are running. I did not tell him it was probably due to the fact I stuck my finger in that one to see if it was running, it was spinning so fast i could not tell...so, yeah... it was running. So he fixed that and we swapped the video card, which was pissing us both off since the driver for the card was not loading. My dad was so pissed he called the computer a “pig” weird… I don’t know where that came from or what he has against pigs, I mean he likes bacon…but whatever, that was my cue to walk away.

Once it was loaded we went to see District 9, it was an ok movie but I heard my dad laugh when a pig got launched across the screen… I just sat there and wondered if pigs were going to be the theme of the day.

Ok no more spoilers here…moving on.

There was four high school aged giggling girls behind us who just would not shut the hell up, I mean if I am going to pay to listen to someone talk to me it had better be a doctors office, or I guess a phone sex line…not that I would ever do that sort of thing, but you get the point, it better benefit me. Then as soon as they finally get quiet, one of their phone rings… it was the most annoying ring ever…did they download it at "sounds_that_could_kill_a_dolphin.com" To make it worse I think it took her a good two minutes to find it. I think the whole theater wanted to kick them out at that point.

I get back home and tell my mom what a crappy day it has been, and she says that it takes more energy to be mad than it does to just be nice. Really? Has this theory been tested?

I get in the car and head home get to the one lane with the no passing zone and I have Fred Flintstone in front of me, that is the best way I can convey to you the speed he was going. I smiled to myself with my teeth clenched and I honestly think it takes way more energy to be nice, I feel it would have been much easier to lay on the horn.

Maybe I should have just gone to church instead.

So please pray for me and my hateful soul.

I've Been Bad

So yeah this week I may have been a little naughty. It was not my intension, to be bad, it just happens from time to time. Maybe I just need a good spanking *wink*. Well it all started when I made graduation photo boards for a party. The lady I made them for invited me to the graduation party, I said I would attend and I probably should have but I just did not feel up to smiling and socializing...plastering on a fake smile for a bunch of people I don't know. I have been avoiding her for approx. 2 weeks when she finally sent an e-mail. I went on and on about how my parents got into a biking accident so I had to go sit with my grandma (who is staying at their house) Ok..Ok.. so it was not the whole truth just ½, my parents did get in a biking accident, i just did not mention it was pedal bikes (note to self get mom and dad crash helmets for Christmas) I told her they had to go to the ER when in all reality they just had a few scratches and I did not go sit with my grandma. I lied!!! I just could not tell her I did not want to go hang out with people I did not know without alcohol involved.

Then yesterday Jesse came up to my cubicle again and was asking when he could drop off his computer, I just looked at him, smiled sweetly and said “never” I think he got the picture and went away sulking, or maybe cursing me…but I don’t really care. I’m a busy girl.

I was outside with Sable on my lunch today eating a Popsicle and the creepy neighbor is watching me while he is grilling something…maybe a squirrel… so I turned my back to him when sable was done sniffing everything in the retractable leash range I started heading back to the door. I looked at him inserted the whole popsicle into my mouth and pulled it back out slowly then flipped my hair and walked in the door. I know…evil, but I bet he burnt his lunch while he was inside jerking off.

So yeah I have been a little naughty…but you know might as well wait till next week since I am going to a "Pure Romance" sex toy party on the 20th and I already have my list ready:

Great Head Gel (the 3 flavor pack)
The art of Erotic Massage (book)
Sensual Lotion (Vanilla Cupcake flavor)

And the Chin-Dildo?

Now this looks exciting and all, but dangerous for the guy…
I mean what if your so into the moment gripping the headboard bouncing up and down, tongue on cilt, panting, moaning….snap! This thing just screams dislocated jaw and long awkward explanation in the emergency room. I think I will pass for now.

Strange Day

This morning I woke up tired…I hate that I really did get a good nights sleep but I woke up tired. Was I having rough sex in my dream or aerobics? Lets just pretend it is the first option. I get to work and I am zoning out on spreadsheets and people rambling to me on the phone, when I realized every time I moved I could smell "paradise thrill"… it was my clothes. When I was at my mom and dad’s yesterday I did laundry and my mom must have got that bounce scent release. So I moved around my desk and…wow this stuff really works. It makes me sneeze at times but it works. Then a co-worker asked me what kind of perfume I was wearing. I was perplexed, I did not how to answer… did she actually smell the Ed Hardy perfume or the bounce scent release? So I had her sniff my sleeve and it was the bounce scent release… that I am certain, is cheaper than the Ed Hardy perfume. Go figure.

Then my shoe kept eating my sock. Have you ever had that happen? The more I walked the more my sock got sucked in my shoe it was very annoying. I hate wardrobe malfunctions, I say everyone should just work naked, but maybe not borrow each other’s pens.

Anyway …

I am beyond agitated today
And nothing seems to be going my way
I really have nothing to say
Maybe I just need to get laid
D’aww look at the poem I just made