Bunny Slipper Contessa

Well since I have been gone I found two new addictions… I know I am all over the place one minute I like rock music and the next I am listening to j-pop thinking I am queen of the booty shake scene.  I am woman and I reserve the right to change my mind. * grin *

Ok so my first new addiction (who knows for how long) is The Food Network.  I don’t know what it is about that damn Iron Chef show and The Barefoot Contessa cooking show but I watch them and then I go in the kitchen to be “the bunny slipper contessa”. 
 

Today I was home on my lunch break and she was making short ribs so now I want to make short ribs, but first I have to find out what a fennel is...there was also a Honey-Mustard Pork Roast with Bacon… YUM. I might have to change my cereal for dinner habit. 

My other new addiction is Sackboy.  Aww bless, he is so cute and you can dress him up and run him though puzzles and the expressions on his lil face… so adorably precious.  So before I go to bed I sneak in a few rounds of Little Big Planet and spend sometime with my sackboy.    

 

Sable is pissed because it is raining and she does not want to get her paws wet.  I had to pacify her with a frosty paw treat.  Anyway... we are all tucked in and dry for tonight so I am going to make something delicious for dinner.  Hope you all have a good night.

Ad astra per aspera

"Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions."

Elizabeth Gilbert

 

I know I have not blogged in a while but the static in my mind was so loud I had trouble focusing my own thoughts… at times like that I wish I was more into zen or yoga something that teaches you to keep your thoughts under control. 

One month ago today I got some news that broke my heart.  I was not expecting it and especially from the person that it came from.  When I heard it I was hurt, betrayed, in pain, angry, and so many other similar emotions.  Words plastered here would fail to explain.  Some things that hurt me the most was the timing and that I warned this person and they did not have enough faith in my judgment to trust me.  I care about this person very much, to say the least and I know they have my best interest at heart so when they warned me about something I listened and steered clear.  I guess this person had not built up that same trust in me.  They said “I had to find out for myself”  anyway when I got the news I had a knee jerk reaction and I let it rock my world… I had let my walls down, I was unguarded and unprepared. 

We talked things though for a few days, I told this person I forgave them, but I need time to heal.  I feel like it is getting better each day, but it is very hard to forget.  My guard is back up and I don’t like wondering what is coming around the corner even though I am being told it is safe…I was told I was safe before this happened…   I have had this kind of thing happen before and the only common thing in this event and the past ones is me.  So now I am wondering what I am doing wrong and looking in the back of my closet for my self-esteem.  Trying to shake the feeling of not being “enough” and needing to make sure every minute that I am “something more”.  I know it will take time and It is kind of maddening at times… trying to think of ways to be more than I was before this happened.  I know the relationship will survive this, I think I just need to make sure I am not so unprepared and speeding to far ahead with blinders on.  No one is perfect, mistakes happen and I have to work on not letting them affect me so much.