So I am quietly sitting at my desk today working and in this new job I have a cubical vs. an office which is a change for me I hear everything. So the 3 co-workers that surround me begin talking about kids, and having kids. I was trying to ignore the conversation and keep working but I overheard the most horrific thing I think I have ever heard of. I guess sometimes while giving birth a tear may occur. I am not going to go into detail of the graphic story that unfolded before me but I can tell you I sat with my legs crossed the rest of the day. Well is seems she recovered fine from that event, but then the child raising horror stories begun, this involved 2 more people and…this made me want to run out and see if in addition to my birth control shot and condoms if there was anything else I could take to make sure I would never have to endure the same fate as these people.
I mean seriously I can barely handle myself and sable, (sable can attest to this fact) and seeing as how they do not come with a manual I would be completely lost. I would be one of those people who had sable on one leash and the kid on the other (I have seen kid leashes at the zoo so I know they exist) If I had a kid I bet I would be on that show Super Nanny.
SN: What the heck are you doing?
IG: I don’t have a clue.
SN: I can tell. We are going to need more than one episode.
Sable: *shaking head*
I mean seriously I can barely handle myself and sable, (sable can attest to this fact) and seeing as how they do not come with a manual I would be completely lost. I would be one of those people who had sable on one leash and the kid on the other (I have seen kid leashes at the zoo so I know they exist) If I had a kid I bet I would be on that show Super Nanny.
SN: What the heck are you doing?
IG: I don’t have a clue.
SN: I can tell. We are going to need more than one episode.
Sable: *shaking head*
Hence I am not having kids.
My mom keeps trying to tell me to have one, and in turn I call my sister and remind her that it is her job to provide mom and dad with a grandchild. She in turn tells me “no way” you do it. We argue then hang up and e-mail our mom and dad more lovely pictures of the grand-dogs.
My mom keeps trying to tell me to have one, and in turn I call my sister and remind her that it is her job to provide mom and dad with a grandchild. She in turn tells me “no way” you do it. We argue then hang up and e-mail our mom and dad more lovely pictures of the grand-dogs.
I need a drink~
(Almost) Blow My Skull Off
2 ounces cognac
1/2 ounce peach schnapps
1/2 ounce Jägermeister
Pour all the ingredients into a mixing glass or cocktail shaker half full of ice cubes. Stir well to combine, then chill. Strain into a chilled martini glass.
It hasn't come to that in my house yet but I don't doubt it will. I really don't know if I want kids...
ReplyDeleteonce again, i am so happy that i was never in labor and that i had a c-section. i never had to deal with pain. i cruised in and less than an hour later, i had a baby.
ReplyDeleteAww come on, birth isn't that bad. My biggest fear was actually shitting on myself.
ReplyDeleteOh and no, it never happened.