Bunny Slipper Contessa

Well since I have been gone I found two new addictions… I know I am all over the place one minute I like rock music and the next I am listening to j-pop thinking I am queen of the booty shake scene.  I am woman and I reserve the right to change my mind. * grin *

Ok so my first new addiction (who knows for how long) is The Food Network.  I don’t know what it is about that damn Iron Chef show and The Barefoot Contessa cooking show but I watch them and then I go in the kitchen to be “the bunny slipper contessa”. 
 

Today I was home on my lunch break and she was making short ribs so now I want to make short ribs, but first I have to find out what a fennel is...there was also a Honey-Mustard Pork Roast with Bacon… YUM. I might have to change my cereal for dinner habit. 

My other new addiction is Sackboy.  Aww bless, he is so cute and you can dress him up and run him though puzzles and the expressions on his lil face… so adorably precious.  So before I go to bed I sneak in a few rounds of Little Big Planet and spend sometime with my sackboy.    

 

Sable is pissed because it is raining and she does not want to get her paws wet.  I had to pacify her with a frosty paw treat.  Anyway... we are all tucked in and dry for tonight so I am going to make something delicious for dinner.  Hope you all have a good night.

Ad astra per aspera

"Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions."

Elizabeth Gilbert

 

I know I have not blogged in a while but the static in my mind was so loud I had trouble focusing my own thoughts… at times like that I wish I was more into zen or yoga something that teaches you to keep your thoughts under control. 

One month ago today I got some news that broke my heart.  I was not expecting it and especially from the person that it came from.  When I heard it I was hurt, betrayed, in pain, angry, and so many other similar emotions.  Words plastered here would fail to explain.  Some things that hurt me the most was the timing and that I warned this person and they did not have enough faith in my judgment to trust me.  I care about this person very much, to say the least and I know they have my best interest at heart so when they warned me about something I listened and steered clear.  I guess this person had not built up that same trust in me.  They said “I had to find out for myself”  anyway when I got the news I had a knee jerk reaction and I let it rock my world… I had let my walls down, I was unguarded and unprepared. 

We talked things though for a few days, I told this person I forgave them, but I need time to heal.  I feel like it is getting better each day, but it is very hard to forget.  My guard is back up and I don’t like wondering what is coming around the corner even though I am being told it is safe…I was told I was safe before this happened…   I have had this kind of thing happen before and the only common thing in this event and the past ones is me.  So now I am wondering what I am doing wrong and looking in the back of my closet for my self-esteem.  Trying to shake the feeling of not being “enough” and needing to make sure every minute that I am “something more”.  I know it will take time and It is kind of maddening at times… trying to think of ways to be more than I was before this happened.  I know the relationship will survive this, I think I just need to make sure I am not so unprepared and speeding to far ahead with blinders on.  No one is perfect, mistakes happen and I have to work on not letting them affect me so much.

Scared

There is a million things running though my mind.


I don't think you all realize how true the title of this blog is.


I am scared...

and I can't find the irony or the humorous side to any of this.  So I am going to take a break. 

Take Care Everyone
and Happy Halloween and Thanksgiving

Amazing Weekend

An amazing weekend.
Will post soon

"Like a kiss that keeps you yearning
When I feel your lips I start to cry
put your hands upon me
Leave me breathless tonight
I'm alive

With you
When so many lovers never find each other I've found you"

Shocking

I let my phone charge while I was getting ready for work on Friday morning.  On my way out the door I unplugged the charger from the phone and went to work.  All day Friday and Saturday morning I did not notice that one end of the charger was plugged into the wall and the other end which should have been on the table was actually soaking in my floating candle dish.  I was not sure what to do but the water was all discolored and I could see little bubbles floating up from where the metal part was.  I grabbed the cord… (Rubber coating is good right?) and pulled it from the water, then quickly unplugged it from the wall.  I was fully expecting my long hair to be standing on end from getting shocked or worse.  Next, when I decided I was safe and I was not going to get fried I tried to clean it off and let it dry but from the looks of the green and orange colors that were not there before.  I did not think it was going to work and I was right.... it didn’t.  I emailed my mom and dad so they would not panic if they tried to call and could not reach me that I am going to the Verizon store in the mall and get a new charger Sunday morning.  I get to the mall and the Verizon store in gone… I stopped one of the mall walkers and asked them if it moved.  The old man said it was not here anymore, I stared and him and thanked him for reaffirming the obvious and decided to stop someone a little younger who might care about where a cell phone store went.  The next walker I stopped told me that they moved to their own store down the street from the mall.  I thank her and head to the new location. 

I get there and had to ask for a charger and the guy pulled up my account and said you just got this phone and charger why are you getting another one is it not working?  I explained to him that after I was done charging my phone I tried to charge my floating candles, he looked at me like I was crazy, and he said most people drop the cell phone in the water not the charger.  I told her I opted for the cheaper of the two, and not to worry since I am a member of the IGAAC I will probably be back. 

Pet Peeves!

I think I have acquired some pet peeves since I have been working at this job.  It is a change from my other job where I was mostly behind the scenes.  I deal more with people now, pissed off people who think the bank has wronged them in some way and now we owe them something.  A few years ago when we approved their loan they were chanting our praises.  I just want to say this up front...I work for a state chartered bank so before you go thinking I work for a bank that did all the shady lending and the shady foreclosures... that is just not the case.  So anyway back to what I was saying about pet peeves... i have a few:

1. Talking over me or interrupting me.  I have become much more hostile about this lately.   Before this job I would just stop talking.  Now I would like to tell them to shut the hell up and let me finish my sentence... but since that would probably get me fired, instead I just let them interrupt and when they are done... i politely ask them if they are finished so I can go back and finish what I was saying.  If they do it again i just continue to talk over them and tell them to let me finish because obviously they are retarded and need a little guidance.

2.  Answering a question I did not ask you.  I want to get some duct tape to have on hand at my desk for the next eavesdropper who answers a question I did not ask them.  Today, I did it... i finally looked at this girl who frequently does this and who has no idea what we are talking about because sometimes she does not even let me finish my question... I asked her if her name was Sue (names have been changed & who cares really) because I was talking to Sue.  She got mad and went back to her desk.  I am usually not mean like that but I had finally had enough.

3.  Swearing or hanging up on me.  When I am calling to see if they need assistance getting their finances back in order.  When I am calling to help them stay in the home vs. sending them to foreclosure... They better not  swear at me or hang up on me.  I realize they may have me confused with a bill collector so I cut them a little slack the first time...but if I have to listen to them swearing and yelling I am more prone to follow the guidelines and send them to foreclosure...why should I have to play nice with an asshole. 

I feel the only logical solution to all my pet peeves is getting an ip-phone application for my work phone.  Now I don't know why our phones are called IP phones but they can simply name this application the IP-Taser.  I want different settings on it... like mild, medium and asshole.  That way if I am on the phone with someone and they irritate me I can just choose a setting and solve the problem.

Good Night

By the time I went to bed last night I only had one thing on my mind...
When someone says something to me I tend to romanticize it in my mind.

For example:
"Good Night" in my mind is me and partner tripping over each other on the way to the bedroom leaving a trail of clothing in our wake...which then leads to thoughts of the greatest foreplay session ever, followed by various forms of sex and positions in great detail... well i tend to get a little carried away.

Oh... don't pretend your innocent.