De.ni.al

De.ni.al - A refusal to acknowledge the truth of a statement

I don’t want to believe it, it is just another way for TNO to blog about his bodily functions or maybe a way for him to put his blog to rest. I have been telling myself this for days now. I don’t want to believe such an amazing person is gone from my life. He inspired me to begin this blog and taught me how to find the humor in life’s trials.

I read his blog for a while and finally got up the nerve to create my own blog and then comment on his. I don’t know how but he actually took the time to go read my blog. I e-mailed him and then he scared me a little. He proceeded to tell me my full name, where I lived, where I worked. He did not do this because he had an obsession with idiot girls he did this to show me I was putting way too much info in my blog. Our friendship grew though comments and e-mails. He helped me with linking, and gladly answered any questions I had. I discovered he is really a fantastic guy and not so much nemesing at all. His out look on life, his love for his wife and family and his enjoyment of blogging and making us all laugh. He told me on more than one occasion he was his biggest fan. I always thought I was…well I will settle for a close second – I guess.

Well TNO if you can see this I hope you know how much you inspired me to be a happier person. You stepped into my life when I was at my lowest and challenged me to look at things in a more positive way, without self medicating.

Will I ever forget what you have done for me?

I am sure I DO know…

No I won’t.

You are missed beyond words.

Cleaning?

Guess what…they never showed, so thanks to Nooter’s advice I had time to go on my lunch today and check out some interesting books on various topics. The librarian looked at me a little weird, but I can deal with that. It will be worth it to see the look on their faces when they see my current reading selections, since I can’t borrow Ryan’s swords (see photo below). Well I have rescheduled for tomorrow so I hope they show up. Well if one good thing came from it, my apartment is sparkly. I am clean anyway but this weekend I Spring Cleaned Idiot Girl Action Adventure style. Which involves making a mess while you are cleaning up a mess. I know it sounds complicated but let me just give you an example of how this works.

Step One: Pick up dirty glass with wet soapy hands
Step Two: Drop glass directly on foot / floor breaking it.
Step Three: Track Blood across floor in search of Care Bear band aid

So you can see how one lil mess turns into a bigger one.

Step One: Fill Sable’s Dog Dish with food
Step Two: Trip over Chew-Lota Bone
Step Three: Spill food all over floor

This is how much of my cleaning projects went this weekend, I am glad I am done. Hope you had a great weekend. Now get back to work.

Ready for Inspection

Well came home the other day to another note on my door. I was ready to implode, but when I read it. I saw it was regarding the standard spring inspection. So given the fact I dislike this place and am have been singled out and harassed about my dog I decided to make an appointment so I can be there when they do this “so called” inspection. Now I am sure they will change filters, and check smoke detectors…but I just have an idea the main reason is to see if I have any violations they can put more notes on my door. Is it wrong I am entertaining ideas of borrowing Ryan’s extensive katana collection just to place around the apartment randomly? Call it ambience, or whatever but I feel this would be an effective way to get my point across and maybe the notes on the door will stop.

/Emo

So this week I have been listening to Collide, Temptation Within, and Jem. I am pretty sure every outfit I wore so far has been black, don’t get me wrong I love black. I am making these calls to people who are seriously behind on their mortgage payments and trying to slash wrists with a plastic knife. (we are not allowed to have sharp objects in this department) I think I have become emo. The stories are tragic and sometimes epic. From disease, death, unemployment, divorce, layoffs, fire, flood, paper cuts… anyway you get my point. I hear several a day, kinda puts life back in perspective. I struggle at times trying to make it on my own but it could always be worse.

PS I am loving the book “Twilight” it is getting real good. No spoilers here, I am just going to say if you like that sort of thing, get the book! Read it!

Zombie

Today was the longest day of my life. I feel like a zombie…BRAINSSSS. I think it has been due to me being sick for well over a week. Then I was having so much fun talking to this new person in my life that I did not realize we had talked all night (yes 7+ hours of talking) and it was time for me to leave for work. So I made it though the work day and I was surprised at 5:00 I had had the most productive day since I started this new job. I got through 35 accounts vs. the 20 I usually do. When I got home I let the dog out and we have to go out the back now in super stealth mode since the landlords have nothing better to do but watch every move we make and take notes on where the dog pees. Going off the apt. grounds for Sable to pee is not hard due to distance it is just the ground there is so low it is like a mud hole. So Sable has no problem jumping from high spot to high spot. I try to follow behind but today was not my day… I was so tired and zoned out, that I did not notice when she saw the squirrel. Well she takes off and when she reaches the end of the leash she pulls me right into the huge mud puddle. My shoes were stuck in the mud and I was about to fall over when she started to chase it the other way. I yelled and finally got her “reeled” back in. I walked back to the house walking like a zombie missing my left shoe and soaking wet. I get in the house shake my head at Sable and toss the right shoe in the trash then got in the shower. It’s how dirty girls get clean.

Not Hiding

Well… I bet you have been wondering where I have been. It has been a rough last couple of days. I got one heck of a cold so had to go back to the doctors and on some antibiotics. They gave me a shot in the bootay (I was not very happy about that – big meanies) I am still not completely over it but I am better than I was. Well since I was sick I finally started reading Twilight and I have to say I am hooked. The story has me sucked in so I have been reading a lot. I am half way through and when I am done I will FINALLY rent the movie.

Also… I have been talking to this guy he is by far one of the neatest people I have met, we have tons in common and I can talk for hours non-stop. I feel like I am in high school again, it is crazy. Remember in the movie Bambi when Thumper said he was “twitterpaited” I don’t know, but I enjoy his company very much, he seems to be melting this ice princess.

Anyway… Between him, the book and being sick I have not had time to sit down and blog, nor have I been in any mischief for the time being. No adventures to report but I am feeling more like my sassy self everyday so I will be happy to be back to my silly self soon.

Squeezing Turnips

Have you ever heard the saying “you can’t squeeze blood out of a turnip?” Well in this new job I hear it a lot. It is a saying that means you can't get something (mainly money) from someone who does not have any. In the new job I just started I call people who are behind on their mortgage. Scratch that, I call A LOT of people who are behind in their mortgage. I am not calling to strong arm them into paying; I am calling to see what occurred to cause the hardship and what we can do to help. We can adjust the rate or the term to name I few things but I am not here to bore you with that. I talk to all kinds of people… ones that just don’t care, ones that panic, ones that are intentional, ones that blow me off, but my favorite are the jerks (male and female) who want to get sassy with me. Today I am sick and I am losing my voice so I am not really in the mood to chitchat…but this guy just set me off. I have to be professional, lucky for him but when he started cursing and telling me I was harassing him, when I had not even said who I was yet it kind of got me on the defensive. When he came out with the “you can’t squeeze blood out of a turnip, I said well lets see what we can do to work out a deed in lieu, but I was thinking…

I did not know I was dealing with a vegetable, and looky here I have a jar of fresh squeezed turnip blood right here on my desk!

Treasures Have to Be Protected

FYI: I have checked this post twice and I have found no humor in it. I thought about creating another blog for my non-funny posts/thoughts but I barely have the time to keep up with this one. So I just wanted to let you know up front incase you want to skip it.

I have many hobbies one of them is a computer game called FFXI (Final Fantasy 11) I have a character named Sirensong. My in-game self is what you would call a healing class; most the jobs I have leveled are healing/support. I guess the reason I am telling you this is that in the game I am the healer, the protector, and the lifeline to the group. Which is so much different than I am in real life. You see in real life I walk around with bruises of the rawest sort, I am wounded and knocked down. I let the smallest things people say and do affect me. I take things right to the heart, knowing I should not care. I meet new men that seem so great but I push them away knowing at some point in the future they will walk out of my life, so better to push them away now than suffer the heart break down the road. I invest time and effort into people who would not do the same for me.

Now Sirensong has spells she can cast to protect herself. Things that I wish I had in real life. I am not going to go into all of them here but these I could use right now:

“Stoneskin” if I had stone skin I would not feel so much and I would not take the blows so internally.

“Protectra 5” now this spell is cool because not only does it protect me, but it protects all who are linked to me. I would love to be able to cast this spell and protect my whole family.

There are healing spells to fix wounds and cure aliments and there are spells that I have to raise you when you are K.O.’d there are even spells I have where I can just teleport and get away. These would all be cool to have…but I don’t so I have to figure out better ways to protect myself and I guess that is why they call me the “Blizzaga Princess” because the only why I know how to protect myself is not let anyone close enough to hurt me.

There is a song by Alix Olsen called Warriors and I hope what she says is right (a few lines)

"It’s the waves that let you know the ocean’s alive. So, we’ve gotta go deep. We gotta use our black and blues like a second skin,Let our bruises thicken,Then begin again.We gotta get up when we’re pushed to the ground,They aint gonna hear us if we’re screaming face down.We gotta rise to double the size of our sound.You know warriors are better the second time around."

I know I write about just of the silly side of me on this blog and I joke about most parts of my life, it is the only way I can deal. It is much more healthy for me to make fun of myself or find the humor in things than to add them to the long list of things I have failed at in life.

Imperfectly yours,

Siren

I've lost more than my mind

It has become clear that either I reached the end of the season sale in the cerebral department, or my brain is time shared with someone. If I can find the person I would like to negotiate a different contract so I could have full time use of the brain. There are times that I have the brain and my thinking is clear, concise, and I am on top of my game. The times I don’t have the brain well that is when I have my wonderful idiot girl moments. Like today for example…

Somehow as I was shutting off my alarm this morning, which is my cell phone, I accidently in my half asleep half awake state I put my phone in manners mode so now I have lost my ringer. This would not be a huge deal if I knew how to get it out of manners mode and if I had not moved and got rid of 90% of the contents of my house I might still have the manual. So great now my cell phone has manners, it did not have manners when it rang in the middle of the sales meeting last Tuesday. Well looks like I will have to do some digging on the internet when I get home to see how to fix this however it is kind of nice it is not ringing.

Also…

I stopped at the gas station this morning and I was trying to put gas in the car but I could not get the gas cap off. I tried to turn it but it was to tight or stuck or something.

[The story behind the story]
I had to get a new gas cap because the one that came with the car was MIA. So I did not have a gas cap for a while till one day I was driving and my check engine light came on…and I was like oh great now what is wrong with this thing. So I call my dad he knows I am an idiot girl in action and one of the first things he asked was “is the gas cap on tight?” I had no clue that the gas cap had anything to do with the engine…I mean one is in the front of the car and one is in the back. I said “no dad it is not on at all” even though I could not see him I knew he was shaking his head. Well anyway he thinks I was talking on the cell phone while pumping gas and forgot it. (as if…)
I tired to get the damn thing off and I could not. Pretty soon a voice came over the speaker and said I needed to swipe my card to start. I shouted back no I need to get the flipping gas cap off to start. So the guy came out and twisted it with two fingers and it practically fell off. I know I totally loosened it for him. Anyway he went back in and I finished filling the tank and got my ass to work.

TGIF

What the BEEP!

I love to cook and I can cook very well (thanks mom) however since my divorce I have been having very little to do with the oven. Well I decided to make pizza this weekend. So I made the dough, sauce and the other toppings. I forgot how much Sable likes when I cook too since I drop so much stuff on the floor. Well the pizza was looking so yummy so I preheated the oven and went to find a movie to put in, I grabbed the pillows and blanket off my bed and grabbed a Smirnoff Ice. (yeah am not a beer drinker) I was ready. The oven beeps when it is pre-heated, however “beep” is an understatement. It sounds more like the beeping that occurs when a mac truck decides to go in reverse. Scared me to death. (I am certain both neighbors knew it was preheated too) Well I pick up the pizza stone and my masterpiece and place it in the oven, set the timer and put the movie in. It was not even 7 minutes and I smell burning… this possessed oven from hell did not burn my pizza the stone barely had time to heat up. I open the oven and this intense heat comes out and smacks me in the face. Then the smoke detector starts screaming at me too. I pull out the pizza and then hit the switch on the fan over the stove then I run into the hallway and wave around the pot holder like a manic under the smoke detector. By this time someone is knocking on the door….so I run to the door and it is Mr. McCreepy “Are you ok?” he almost knocks me down trying to get in the door, Sable is barking and the smoke detector starts going off again… then the timer to let me know the pizza was done… Sable is still barking and now Mr. McCreepy is standing in my apartment. “Do you need any help?” I got all the beeping to stop and Sable is quieted to a growl. I assured him I did not. The I saw his eyes looking up and down me and all over the apartment. Then they stopped on the coffee table, and he just stared. So I looked down at the coffee table too, and there it was… the barbell. Oh my gawd! Great! Well lets hope like hell he did not know what it was, I cleared my throat and he then invited me over for a drink, I declined for the 500th time and told him I was getting ready to go out. Somehow with the movie, pillows, blanket…I am certain he did not believe me. Lets hope he gets the clue this time and realizes I blew him off for a sex toy.

Peace Out!

Idiot Dog in Action!

So I am walking the dog this morning in my PJ’s and freezing. We have to walk all the way off the apartment property for Sable to pee because I am getting harassed by the landlords about the dog peeing on the lawn areas.

(yeah I said wtf too, lets advertize we are dog friendly, then harass the dog owners who live here because we are old and have nothing better to do, this is a whole other blog in itself that I am entirely too pissed off to blog about or even confront the landlords over…yet. Hell hath no fury like Siren scorned…it is best I just calm down a month or three)

So we are walking long the fence line, it is a stockade type fence between the apartments and the business and she is sniffing under the fence. I don’t know why, I don’t question her methods, I just go with it. She tends to pull me everywhere, then she went the other way, and then circled around, then a line off to the left and then back to the right…I was thinking she was making a crop circle in the snow to signal the mother ship to come save her from me.

She circled around one last time and then lead me back to the door when I reach down to unhook her from the leash and her nose is bleeding like crazy. I run and grab some paper towel and hold it over her nose. She was not very happy about that so I am looking up the number for the vet and freaking out – just a little – I take the paper towel off and I felt so bad there was a flap of skin on hanging. I held her and she is looking at me like I am crazy. We get an appointment at the vet and she is excited to go for the ride until we get to the vet. Well $80 later we are back home. The vet said she was fine and said the best thing to do was just leave it alone. It still looks kind of bad today so I hope it heals up fast.

All I can figure is her sniffing got out of control when she was sniffing under the fence.

Poor Sable!