Ok… before you smokers get pissed, I could care less if you smoke or not, everyone has vices…. You smoke…I masturbate, so far is it from me to pass judgment. What I have beef about is that where I work the smokers get 2 fifteen-minute breaks and a lunch hour, because I don’t smoke I get a lunch hour. This is not fair damn it! I demand 2 fifteen-minute masturbation breaks, and I am going take them, no more oppression!
On that note I have a problem, let me introduce you to my new friend:
The Barbell~ Ta Da!!!
The Barbell is 6 3⁄4 inches long and weighs one pound. Once you slide it in the weight holds it in place. It is designed to exercise your PC muscle There are a lot of ideas about how to best do the exercises like squeezing 10 times and resting or holding it tight for a count of 5 followed by rapid contractions. Most professionals agree that having a resistance device inside you gives better results…enter the Barbell ~ ta da!!!
Basically how it works you use your PC muscle. To move the Barbell tighten the PC muscle as you slowly pull it out leaving the larger ball just inside of you. Then relax the muscle and let go of the Barbell. Its weight will allow it to drop back inside effortlessly. TA DA. There are other ways to use it (men too, if your ass is not exit only) it comes with a whole booklet of instructions and tips. Not only will it give you better orgasms, but it also has other benefits as you age…I am not going to go into that either. If you want to know more leave me a comment and I will post the link to the ordering site.
That is my new toy…err workout equipment.
(30 minutes later - sorry I was distracted by something shiny)
What was I talking about…oh yeah…My problem is I am going to need a bigger purse, to carry this thing back and forth to work in. I too NEED my 15-minute workouts.
HA! I love it! You should definitely get your well deserved "work-out" break!!!
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU! I bitch about this very thing about smokers getting more time to screw off where I work.
ReplyDeleteI get a 30 minute lunch break during a 12 hour shift. Big fing whoop. I should at least get an hour based upon how many times I see the smokers going in and out of the building. I may as well take up smoking!
Have fun with your workout. Looks fun. :)
Just Jen - it is way over due.
ReplyDeleteCandice - Don't take up smoking, take up masterbation, it is much healthier and does not cause lung cancer.
You do realize that it should have been called the "barbie bell" instead, don't you?
ReplyDeleteI'm just sayin'!
guess im confused, dont understand how shiny weightlifting equipment makes your pc computer stronger.
ReplyDeletedo you have anything to eat?
Holy cow. Not what I expected to find on a "humor blog," but it is sorta amusing.
ReplyDeleteI like the new look of the site, btw. I haven't surfed in a while.
I'll probably publish your dirty confession late tonight!
I'm sorry, I can't think of anything to say that would be anywhere near appropriate.
ReplyDeleteNow, uh, I need to uh..go workout.
Of course, unlike typical gym workouts, if you "feel the burn," make sure to stop immediately.
ReplyDeleteJorm - What does barbie have to do with it?
ReplyDeleteNooter - Come on over i will make you some doggie treats from my 3 Dog Bakery Cookbook..like snickerpoodles, or something else delicious you should tell the human to get one. He could cook for you instead of feeding you hot peppers.
Father Muskrat - yeah, i may have got a lil carried away. Maybe i should put some sort of disclaimer up there.
Taunt Vortex - Welcome back, missed you while you were MIA, hope you had a very good workout.
Brad - yes, i would have to agree, do not place in boiling water before use.
can you a wind chime to it?
ReplyDeleteSiren- I already masturbate. I make it a habit not to do that at work. No telling what kind of shit I'd come down with doing that type of activity at a hospital.
ReplyDeleteJust Jen - it is way over due.
ReplyDeleteCandice - Don't take up smoking, take up masterbation, it is much healthier and does not cause lung cancer.
ROFLMAO
not only your writing..your comments are funny too..
loved visiting your blog
Sorcerer
www.evilsfury.blogspot.com
I do PC muscle exercise for years now...it really work and it can improve male sexual stamina!
ReplyDeleteBut there are 2 major pitfalls in the exercise. Timing and failure to locate pc muscle.
Now there's a new product in the market that put software & electronics into the exercise. The device is basically a timer that prompt user to do the exercise so user can fully concentrate on the exercise.
See this link RoboCock