"Friend"ly Body Cavity Search?

I would like to present to you the second Siren award for:

Unfit Friend and Unfit Mother of the Year Award

Taken from my local newspaper (yes I X'ed out location details)
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
By CRYSTAL SOMEONEFROMTHENEWSPAPER

Suzy Kucera says it was a ''cat fight,'' but the XXXXX County Prosecutor's Office is calling what happened in XXXXXX Township on Nov. 14 a sexual assault and an assault with a dangerous weapon. Kucera, 32, of XXXXX, has been arraigned on charges of third-degree criminal sexual conduct after allegedly conducting a ''body cavity search'' on a 29-year-old woman whom she accused of taking a $100 bill from her purse. The assault with a dangerous weapon charge stems from her allegedly striking the same woman on purpose in a parking lot.
The two women were at the Rite Aid store at the corner of XXXXX Avenue and XXXXX Road and were planning to purchase some liquor. Kucera told police she noticed a $100 bill was missing from her purse. She said she figured her friend took the money from her purse earlier when they stopped at another store and Kucera left her purse in the car when she went inside to buy cigarettes. (she refers to victim as her friend, i am thinking that this is going to put a kink in their friendship...well unless her friend is a lesbian and likes things hardcore???)

Accounts of what happened next differ. The alleged victim said Kucera drove to a parking lot of a vacant nearby business and that when the victim jumped out of the vehicle, Kucera struck her with the car. The alleged victim claims Kucera then got out and started choking the woman on the hood of her car, ripped open her blouse and also pulled her pants down and performed a body cavity search. She said she was able to escape after that, but that Kucera again attempted to hit her with her car.


XXXXXXX Township Police responded to the initial call of the assault, but the alleged suspect had left, later telling police that she took off because she had arrest warrants out against her.
A XXXXXX Police officer found Kucera at a local tavern, with her children - ages 5 and 13 - sitting outside in her vehicle. (are you kidding me...the kids are in the car this whole time!!!)
Kucera told an officer that she is the one who should have brought charges, since her friend stole the $100 bill her mother had given her that very day.
Kucera said there was indeed a body-cavity search - but that the alleged victim had performed it upon herself, to demonstrate that she did not have the missing bill. (Why does this make no sense to me? I checked myself but I don't have it???)
Officers interviewed the oldest of Kucera's children, who'd been in the back seat at the time, who confirmed much of the alleged victim's account, according to police. If convicted of third-degree criminal sexual conduct, Kucera faces up to 15 years in prison. If convicted of assault with a dangerous weapon (her car), she faces up to four years in prison.

Kucera also was charged with operating a motor vehicle under the influence of intoxicating liquor with children under 16 in the car. Her blood-alcohol level was 0.12, according to results of a breath test. The legal limit in Michigan is 0.07.

Her bond has been set at $20,000, and a settlement conference before XXXXX County District Judge Craig D. XXXXXX is scheduled for Jan. 2. (i really don't care what happens to this crazy bitch, but i do hope someone saves these kids from her.)