I Am So Confused (...yeah, i know it is not hard to do)

In my job sometimes you hear a lot of crazy stories of what kind of hardship people are having, you would be surprised at some of the things that I hear or that land on my desk.

Random Female 1 was a little off her rocker, she believed people where in her house stealing her mail, she believed she had a cable guy trapped in her attic (i hope he truly is not there) and she said the FBI busted her windows and put the glass in her silverware drawer.

Random Male 2 is suffering from a cash flow problem, when i looked up the mortgage it was for approx. $550,000.00 and the second mortgage was for about $150,000.00 WOW... I really want to order an appraisal for this place... are the walls lined with cocaine and hookers?

but today has topped them all... this was the craziest thing I have come across yet. (names have been changed) I received some title work back for a TDR (troubled debt restructure) I am working on and it said "Dick Random formerly known as Jane Random and Jane Smith-Random" Yeah i had to read it twice. I looked on the system for "Dick Random" and he was listed also as "Random Dick / Jane" his alias was also listed as "Jane Random" and "Jane Smith-Random"

So after some research I discovered that he was born as a male, decided he wanted to be a female and changed his name. The he got married to a male which is where the "Smith" part comes in. Then he divorced the male took back his maiden name as Jane Random dropping the Smith part... and then i guess he decided he no longer wanted to be female and again changed his name to Dick Random... ok, are you ready for this? Now he is married again, but this time to a woman.

I am not judging him or anything but I am wondering what is going on in his head, it must be a very confusing place, why get married it you play ball for both teams? well maybe he has an open marriage and his current wife is ok with the whole thing. Wonder if she know he used to be a she and is now a he... i hope the only thing he changed was his name. That would suck if he decided to go though the surgery and pills and w/e else they do, just to decide he now wants his cock back.

wow i have got to stop thinking about all this. to each there own i am not here to judge but stuff like this just makes me curious, i bet i will be up all night puzzled about this. I wish i could just call him up and ask him about it. Then again curiosity killed the cat or something like that... maybe there are just some things in life idiot girls are not meant to understand.


for example why vibrators just stop working for no reason...
NO! I am still not over that.

Oh Cruel World

What the hell?
Why is my life so hard.
I just wanted to release some tension last night and I was doing just that and the batteries died.
I was so close, I had to get up and look for batteries. I finally found them and put them in, rushed back to bed and turned it on and nothing... OH COME ON! I start shaking it as if the batteries just needed a adjustment... still nothing...I go get some other batteries and still nothing... It is broke... WHY ME? WHY NOW? and i dont have another one that vibrates (no i am not talking about my tooth brush) I get online and there are no 24 hour vibrator repair shops... HOW CAN THIS BE... WHY??? Now I am all worked up and pissed, i toss it in the trash and go back to the toy box, if you can picture me sitting there tossing toys all over the place, that is about right. That is when it hit me, I don't have a back up vibrator. I have several of each other thing but no back up vibrator. This is a tragic. I am going to have to order two... rush delivery. Till then I will just have to pick a different toy to play with.

Sometimes life is so cruel.

Peeps & Death Notices? .... MOM !

Every year I get an Easter Basket, I am spoiled and that is a fact. This year I was sitting at the table unloading it and I got peeps (of course), Reese's Pieces (my fav), a charm for my Pandora bracelet, a bunny pez dispenser, a t-shirt from my mom's trip, and a death notice.

Yes there was a death notice in my Easter Basket. I looked at my mom who is starting to lose her mind living with my dad and his mother (my grandma) to see if she made some sort of mistake. She says, oh i wanted to save that for you a guy you used to date in high school died. HAPPY EASTER.

I do feel bad that he died and I am curious why since he is so young and graduated with me. We only went out twice and I decided we were not compatible and we had not spoke since. I feel bad for his mom and dad who were very nice. Guess you never know when your time is up. I hope I don't get death notices for my birthday or Christmas. She said she put it in my Easter basket so she did not forget to give it to me. Usually my mom is scouring Court Beat for boys my sister and I used to date not the Death notices.

Well I have to say that was the oddest thing I have ever got in my Easter basket.

Rest in Peace Jim S.

Hanging out with Grandma

I sat with my grandma most the morning I don’t ever remember her looking so frail and so small. I guess that is the way of it, we all get old, we all fall down. I was sitting there thinking the time passes by and you never get it back… you can’t have a do over. Things are not looking good for my grandma between the fluid on her lungs, her kidney, and her heart. I have never seen someone get out of breath sitting at a table peeling potatoes. In the time she peeled four potatoes, I have chopped up the onions, celery, and eggs for the potato salad. Eventually we got it done and then we played cards. She loves to play Rum or maybe Rummy I am not sure the name, she calls it rum. We must have played 10 hands at least, she makes faces at me when she don’t win. It is cute. She knows how to play the game and is quick at it, but when it comes to other things she has the memory of a goldfish and the little plastic castle is a surprise every time.

So I am at my parents this Easter weekend and Sable is having the time of her life, she gets to be outside all day long and off the leash to run, ahhh the benefits of having a huge yard. I feel bad that I live in an apartment now and she is so confined. It is not fair.

Well I better go back upstairs before they notice I am missing in action, I think we are going to watch the movie The Blindside.

P.S. Jessie James or w/e the heck his name is… is a moron for cheating on Sandra Bullock!