The Sky is Falling

When I got home on Monday night I happened to be unpacking and looked up. This is what I saw.

Something happened to my ceiling. My first thought was there was a leak on the roof, however nothing was wet and there was no water stains on the ceiling. My next thought was bees again... but i saw no bees. I was perplexed so I slept on the couch. the next morning I called the maintenance person and he came to take a look. He took a picture with his cell phone and that was the last I heard so I went to work. When I got home from work this is what I saw

I thought it looked like black mold so I poked it with a ruler and it was squishy like a sponge. Finally I went in to the Apartment office yesterday to pay my rent and the lady asks how my apartment is doing. How is it doing? I told her there is a hole in my bedroom ceiling. What the hell kind question is that? I have been sleeping on the couch for 4 nights because i think the ceiling in the bedroom is going to cave in and cover me in black mold. She told me they found the problem and the roof was like Swiss cheese. Is this supposed to comfort me?

So if a seagull lands on the roof it might end up in my bedroom. I asked when they might foresee getting my ceiling fixed. She said next week. So today I am going to get busy moving the stuff out of my bedroom since they are going to have to remove a major part of the ceiling.

I guess i should just be relived it is not bees again.

Over The River and Through The Woods...

On Friday, last week we arrived at my grandmas house. She can no longer live on her own but it is good to take her back and visit once in a while. Most of my dad’s family is still living there. My grandma has already buried 3 of her children and there is just my dad and one of his brothers left. So I got to see relatives I have not seen in a while. Things are different here, time is slower and things are laid back. Since my grandma no longer lives in her home and it had been shut up for months my allergies were in full force, there was no TV and there was no phone. My cell phone had a signal once and a while. Did I mention it was over 100 degrees the whole time I was there? I wanted to go into the woods and take pictures of where my sister and I used to play when we were little, there is actually a tomb up there (not creepy at all), but every time I went outside I began to sneeze my head off and melt. It made it a very long weekend. On Saturday we were looking though my grandma’s cupboards and we found this:
Yes it is a boob cup and you drink out of the nipple. It was something my grandpa had...he was a big boob man. (omg someone is going to find my sex toy collection when i pass away) We had fun digging though some stuff. I have no idea how she got so much stuff in that house. The next morning we were going to meet my cousin and his family for breakfast. I was half awake and my grandma came out of the bathroom and mooned me, saying something about not being able to find her underwear. I asked her if she left them at “Wayne’s” last night. Wayne’s was the local bar; she went off on this elaborate story about how she thumbed there after we went to sleep. All in all it was a good time…seeing my Ohio relatives reminds me where I got my “crazy” from.

Driving Two Daisy’s

Bridge to West Virgina (from Ohio)

Last weekend I took off Friday morning on a road trip with my mom and grandma. We were doing great because my mom was driving and I was reading a map that my dad printed out on Street Atlas USA. I quickly noticed that this map had not exit numbers, and did not tell me how may miles I would be on the road. My grandma is on oxygen so after the first two hours of driving we had to stop and change her tank. This is the point that my mom told me I could drive. She did not want to drive though Columbus. I was worried for a few reasons:

• This is my Dad’s Acadia

• My mom is a backseat driver (panics or squeals if she thinks you do not see something – which actually causes a mild heart attack when you are driving)

• My mom cannot read a map.

I was on the road about an hour and I said are we supposed to get off here? She says no so I keep driving. 10 seconds later she says…I think you were supposed to get off back there.

* Awkward Silence*

Hello this is On Star Navigation …we are downloading your map. The next thing I hear while I am driving down the highway is “Please make a legal and safe U-turn” I blink and laugh since I am in Ohio and the cops will arrest you if you if you look at them funny. To make it even worse I have out of state plates, which I am certain, put a big bulls eye on my car. (I had to use the cruise control all the way there) I finally got turned around and we were back on track.

I think I could make a whole other post regarding the things I now know about my mom and grandma after being trapped in a car for a little over 7 hours with them.

Saturday Driving

The following happened between the hours of 8:00am and 11:00pm:

8:00am - I woke up and did all my morning stuff (wont bore you with the details) I took sable for a walk. When we got back to the apt and I decided to go to work for a few hours.

9:30 Drove to work with Sable in the car, I can sneak her in on Saturdays since there is no one there. The building I work in is a big old historic building so it is scary. I am sure they could film some sort of Ghost Hunter episode there. One of my male co-workers collects clowns and they are all over his cubicle. It really creeps me out. Sable does not seem like the logical choice for possessed toy clown collections or ghost protection... but she is all I got. We get downtown and because my town is a tourist trap in the summer there was no where to park. The Tall Ship are here and people are everywhere. I did not see any trucks with nut sacks so that was a plus.

9:34 - Road rage occurred along with some swearing about where people learned how to parallel park there are lines for a reason. Four parking spots taken up by 1 car and 1 motorcycle is unacceptable.

(rant) does it piss you off when people think their vehicle is so great that they take two spots thinking it will prevent door dings? This makes me want to hit them on purpose, which i would never do, but the though has crossed my mind. I do secretly hope for a random act of nature like a giant hail storm (just on their car) or a meteor. Park way out, in the back of the lot...it achieves the same purpose and you only need one spot because people don't like to walk that far. I mean I get it, some people lack common sense and don't take pride in ownership but this does not mean you need to piss me off before 10:00 in the morning by taking two spots.
9:34 - 12:00 - Boring work stuff and Sable napping on the floor under my desk.

12:20 - 11:00pm - Dust, vacuum, dog out - dog in (repeat). It was hot so I decided to go get a slurpee. I like to treat myself once in a while. When I got to 7-11 it seems everyone had the same idea. the parking lot was full and there where these two cars parked side by side in the drive having a conversation. I waited and stared... and waited, finally I put it in reverse and found a spot. I am sure I shot them a dirty look as i walked by but they did not seem to care. They must have been having a very important conversation to delay my Slurpee goodness. World Peace? Global Warming? The Answer to clean up all the oil in the gulf? I be it was about that Lebron basketball guy. I get inside and the guy in front of me got a Big Gulp... come on... Big Gulp = Moet and Slurpee = Cristal... get with the program Mr.

Somewhere in the adventures of the day my check engine light came on. I noticed it heading home after the Slurpee run. So i figured after all the BS my car has road rage too. So I parked it and let it rest all night. Today I am driving to my parents house, so I am hoping when I go out to start it the check engine light is off. I have not pumped gas lately so i don't think it is the gas cap again unless some one stole it... I will check that before I leave. Hmm... if it is not that I don't know what it could be so I guess I will drive it to my mom and dads and keep my fingers crossed. Wish me luck.

Happy July 5th

I spent most the day by myself yesterday. I actually cooked dinner.

~Menu~
Mango Salsa on toasted Italian Bread
(it is best on fish, but i am not a huge fish fan)
Baked Beans with Brown Sugar, Peaches, and Bacon grilled inside a sweet potato.
Grilled Chicken in a Marinade I made from scratch.

I packed up everything and took it to my parents house. I let the chicken marinade in the cooler on the drive there. Once I got there my dad helped me with the grilling, that is his terrain. Everything turned out good and they loved it and I think they were thrilled they did not have to cook.

I got a text so I headed home, but by the time I got there is seemed like everyone was busy doing other things. I logged on Skype just in case anyone wanted to talk but all I got was crickets. So I logged on this computer game I play online with other people but everyone seemed busy doing there own thing on there too. I decided to do my own thing but promptly died... it is what I do, hey I full time this idiot girl thing... in real life and the video game world. I know your supposed to pretend to be something different on line but I have tried and I can't shake this idiot girl M.O.

So kinda moody I log off and decide to walk Sable. We did not get to far, she does not like the sound of fireworks going off, she wanted to go back inside. I got her a Frosty Paw Ice Cream and she forgot all about the fireworks drama. I curled up on the couch and watched TV until I fell asleep.

I don't have to work today either so I hope I can find something exciting to do. Hope you all had an enjoyable and safe holiday weekend.

A.P.B

I am putting out an APB on Nooter the Dog and The Human.
Has anyone seen them? I fear if Nooter is missing in action too much longer the squirrels will take over. I am sorry to report the only photo I have of Nooter is this artist rendition on wood.

You will know it is Nooter by his ability to type the most entertaining blog entries with out the use of thumbs.

I think if he does not turn up soon I will have to start interrogating squirrels, this will be no easy feat as I have heard from Nooter that they are pretty shifty creatures.

If any of you know the whereabouts or have any tips leading up to the finding of Nooter and The Human please let me know.