Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Deck the Mall

…or deck everyone in my way in the mall (I really need those flying monkeys, like in Wizard of Oz, to release on people at my discretion)


Well…

I made my list and I checked it twice so last Sunday I ventured off to the mall.  I went right at noon when it opened to avoid shopping fuckery.  The first store I made it in and out pretty fast, but by the time I stepped back into the main walkway it was packed.  Was there 1015 busses that all arrived at the same time?  Have you been out in the stores lately? No? If not, here is what you are missing: People storming around in total chaos, in a total shopping rage, fighting for the last "On Sale" flat screen on the shelf, dragging crying children along for hour after hour of mind-boggling browsing, all to the tune of revamped, remixed Christmas songs that somehow make that Time Life Christmas CD collecting dust on your shelf seem manageable.


I thought people where supposed to be at Church and Sunday brunch.  Why did everyone have to sacrifice himself or herself into the black hole of consumer debt all on Sunday the 5th.  I thought I was going to avoid all this when I was the only one working at the bank on Black Friday.  I hate shopping…so as you can probably imagine I really hate ninja shopping.  I decided no matter how many casualties I was going to get this shopping done because I would not be coming back.  Long story short I am done with the mall portion of the shopping.  I just have to go to Pier 1 now.  I love that store so I don’t mind. 

I am having Christmas with my family on the 19th since that is when my sister is flying in from Boston. 

Hope all of you have your shopping done and have not waited till the last minute like me.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Deny Thy Milk and Refuse Thy Cream




Dear Oreo
You have been a constant friend of mine for years.  We have been though thick and thin, in good times and in bad times...  but it is time I break up with you.  I am leaving you in favor of homemade treats... at first I admired your pre-packaged ease, but lately I have found you kinda a bore.  As much as I love your creamy filling it is no good for me.  Consider us over.