Monday, March 25, 2013

Hook Me up Buttercup

What is up with eharmony lately? The commercial is running oh, 20 times a day. Maybe it is because I have a tummy ache and I have been watching more TV than usual this weekend.
 
The thing that scares me about this site is that people let a computer dictate to them who is their perfect match after one night and six gin and tonics (or other drink of choice) consumed in filling out there 583-page questionnaire. I mean they do boast that 230 some members marry everyday in the US as a result of them being matched on the site. You could be next!!!
 
How stylish you are. Are you thoughtful? Caring? Affectionate? Warm? Intelligent? Do you use bad grammar? You would have to decide how submissive you are. Do you know what monogamy is? What is you church involvement? What if your true answer for some of the 1000+ questions was not an option… then whom do they match you with?
What if you took 3 or more hours of your life and then found out your were unmatchable? Which is ironic since I think one of the questions is “Do you waste time?”

I read somewhere that people come up unmatchable for a few reasons:
  • Under 18
  • Married
  • Divorced too many times
  • Trying to “game” the system (Booty calling)
  • Answering Questions in inconsistent ways – i.e. if you are too unique you will overload their system
  • Gay       
What do those people do head over to Match.com? Log off and get back in bed with their wife? Take their chances on Facebook or some other social site?
 
I was married before and let me tell you it was not all it's cracked up to be there is no fairy tale, no knight in shiny armor. I want to see commercials of Tanyalee and Joshua in a couple months. You know after the honeymoon wears off. Give it a few months and film it when the only type of sex they are having is oral sex via passing each other in the hallway saying “fuck you”.

8 comments:

  1. You will find your knight in shining armor...he's out there. I do not really believe in the online dating sites though, either.

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  2. Hahahaha, “Fuck you” is great oral indeed! I’ve always been a fan of dating my friends. I have to genuinely like a person to become involved with them. I think people that are always going out of their way looking for romance seem desperate and that desperation brings the sharks a-circling.

    Then again, I’m on my second marriage (so far) so….

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  3. LMAO - unique answers are awesome!! :o) especially THAT one... hahahah

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  4. I would have to agree... Those websites seem more than a little ridiculous. The husband thought it would be funny for us both to use one and see if we were matched up. I told him, "No, that would tempt fate."

    And sadly, you're right about the marriage thing. There's nothing really special about it. But I was already disenchanted with the whole idea by the time we celebrated our fourth year of dating. ;)

    You will find your knight. His armor may become tarnished, he may forget from time to time to shine it back up... He may even get tired of wearing it. He might lose faith in his ability to be your knight. But a knight is always a knight at heart.

    Then again, this is coming from a girl who was never swept off her feet - but that's okay, I'm hard to impress. My husband can attest to that. >_>;

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  5. I don't trust those websites.

    I trust....MY PENIS !

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  6. I'm so glad I don't have to rely on that bullshit. I'd be single forever!

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  7. @ TUC - I know he is out there!

    @ Zodiblog - I have to agree is seems if you start as friends it is much better.

    @ MarkyDsMom - Yeah i giggled at that jpeg too.

    @ Nicole - Yeah i just could not do it. I don't think i could even make it though the questionnaire.

    @ Heff - Never doubt your penis

    @ Candice - I don't think it is bad if you meet someone on a dating site i agree with you, it's just not for me.

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  8. I'm your knight in shining armor :(

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