Moment of Silence...Please

He died today. Funeral Services were held shortly after.

The way he hit the floor…

The thud…

The sudden death…

It was just….

Just… so very heart wrenching

I tried to save him but I missed. He was warm at times and frigid at others, but I still loved him no matter what his disposition was, he never cared what I looked like and he never got jealous. He was a slow starter but finished like a champ. He was stunningly beautiful, a true masterpiece of art. He was very colorful. He always delivered excitement, and brought me to new heights, I know I will be grieving for days.

So if you will all join me in a moment of silence…

Feeling the Love

Wow, in catching up with the holiday reading I was not only one getting presents, my blog has getting presents too. I was catching up on some of my fav blogs and i discovered that i got another blog love award. Thank you Unfinishedrambler for showin me some love, i think this time I want to show my girls some love, you know in a blog way, not a bikini pool full of jello way.

***Drum Roll***

Somewhere in the City

The Wise Young Mommy

Mom's Crazy Life

Because I Could Never Keep a Diary

She's Not a Girl Who Misses Much

A New Day

Red Red Whine

Sassy and Opinionated

Just to name a few... (giggles)

here is to saying sorry in advance if you already recieved this award I am still catching up on my reading.

The Gift That Keeps on Giving

Monday and back to work.

I had a nice long Holiday break over Christmas. Spent sometime with the parents who gave me the gift that keeps on giving…a stomach virus or something, I have been sick and spewing for two days now, today I am at work and I have not ate anything but 7-up and a piece toast since Friday. I had to eat something for fear I would lose an internal organ if I did not find something to throw-up later.

This was not my only problem this weekend I lost power, as a matter of fact half my city lost power. It went out at 2:30am and by 4am I was not only throwing up again, but FREEZING. I lit some candles so Sable would not be scared of the dark. I could call no one because my phone had one bar and I could not charge it. So the electricity finally came back on and I had heat again so I wrapped up in blankets and set myself on defrost.

Anyway I am at work today still with a pissed off stomach…the bathroom is 2 hallways and a locked door away which is convenient for me. But the thing about today that is so great is the parking Nazi seems to be missing in action. I mean maybe he got run over by a reindeer. Awesome I have not had to move my car once today and no rainbow chalk lines all over the tires.

My Very First Award

I have to say thanks to Kristin at "The Soccer Mom Files"
My blog has been given its very first award and I am so very excited.
“… I can’t deny the fact that you like me — right now — you like me!”
I would like to thank the academy, my readers, and Sable for the support you have given me.

It is also my duty to pass this award along to other blogs that i am in love or lust with...there are so many so here goes...i think my limit is 5 if it is not 5 i am limiting myself because i love so many of your blogs and we would be here all night/day...month??? it is a very long list. He is the five i have read since my starting day, before i could even figure out how to make comments.

****drum roll*****

I am Sure I Don’t Know

Taunt Vortex

Angry Seafood

Nooter

Diaries of The Professor

Post Christmas Wrap Up

The last few days with my family was wonderful. My sister and i were at Applebees in the before noon (the times that they were open) sitting at the bar...preparing for the day...bloody marys are always good before noon. My grandma looked so frail and small compared to last time i saw her (do old people shrink?) She did not want to do much...my sister and i went to a friends house and partied on Christmas Eve...well drinking and smoking (i dont smoke - just being near it was enough for me, i think i stopped 15 feet before the actual stop sign...which was cool) Anyway... I played cards with my mom, dad, sister and grandma...they get pretty hostile, who knew!!! I heard my frail lil grandma call my mom a "dirty slut", and my mom call my grandma a "rippin' bitch" and my dad call my mom a "butthole"...my sister and i just looked at eachother in complete shock and thought maybe we should go get some more to drink, or just back away from the table slowly.
anyway i got it *smiles hugely*...Santa was so good to me....i got my printer...my 13 inch x 19 inch printer, whoever told You that size does not matter lied, well then this is coming from a girl who would wear a firewire thong and considers Xoxide and Tiger Direct porn...what can i say i am a technical sexual icon *winks*
Hope you all had a great Holiday!!!

Holiday Wishes Idiot Girl Style

Heres to hoping your holiday is merry and bright and none of the flashing lights you see are attached to the top of a police car.

Love,

Siren and Sable

Shopping With Siren

So my sister sent me a disco ball air freshener for Christmas now I can have all the glitter and glamour of my own night club right in my car for the price of a ham sandwich. It even kind of smells like new dancing shoes. I love it. It is better than the last one she sent me …(Fast Cheap and Out of Control)Now for here I was looking for something just as unique to give her. She works for some high-end company in Boston and wears these types of shoes on the showroom floor.
I could get her Yoga Toes. Now shoving her feet in these pointy torture devices will not seem so bad. I don’t know how those Stepford wives do it, wear heals all day long. They are going to have permanent foot damage by the time they are 40.
Oh and then I saw this. Forget my sister I am getting it for myself, it is the boyfriend pillow. (She has a boyfriend anyway) It is a full on snuggle-fest without the snoring.
Oh and look at this model it will even hold my titty =D!
Oh and just so my guy readers don’t get left out there is a girlfriend pillow
Well I guess I am not having much luck on-line shopping and it is kind of late for that anyway, I need an excuse to go to Pier One. So that is my stop right after I bust out of work. It is snowing like crazy, and yes we have got more snow already this month than all of last year. I know last winter was too mild and this one was going to take revenge.

Well safe shopping and safe travels. Hope you have a wonderful Christmas Holiday with your friends and families.

…As for me I will be up to my holiday idiot antics and will keep you posted. Gotta go wrap some presents...i actually typed "warp" some presents, now that would be a neat trick.

Where Are My Keys????

Where are my keys?
Why cant people drive in the snow?
Where is the guy who is supposed to plow the apt complex roads?
Where are my keys?

Ok so I am sitting here pissing on the wheels of progress because I cant find my car keys. I have procrastinated shopping due to my intense dislike of it.
Yes I am a female
Yes I don’t like shopping…
I know…I know total mind fuck right?

Anyway where was I, oh yeah looking for my keys I should check the places I have left them before.
In the ignition with the doors locked-Nope
In the couch-Nope
In coat pockets-Nope
In my purse-Nope
In the trash-Nope
In the refrigerator-Nope
In the bathroom….ah there they are
I remember now I had to pee so bad when I got home that I tossed the keys on the counter, only they had slipped into the sink which might be why I missed them the first 10 times I looked in there. Now if I could find my motivation in the bathroom sink too I would be all set.

Sable is now transformed from her happy tail-wagging state in front of the door to lying down with long sighs waiting for me to get it together so we can go. I put on some boots that come up to my you know what, because that is how high the drift is in front of my apartment…ok I might be exaggerating a lil at least they shoveled the walks while I was at work. Hmm… I do miss my garage from being a home owner, but not having to fight with a snow blower to get it started (seems no one told the idiot girl it takes a mix, not straight gas) just to end up shoveling the sidewalks and driveway myself, I feel renting is a good trade off for me.

Boots, coat… check
Dog, leash….check
Keys, purse…check
Blog post… check

Happy HOWLidays!
Sable is dragging me to Petsmart!

so much snow.

I am looking outside and I don’t know where my car is. I can not see it, all I see is a pile of snow and I am sure my car is under it somewhere...so I am going to navigate the snow drifts in the morning just to get to work. Here is my snow bank exit strategy a.k.a idiot girl action adventure #1001

Ok, here we go:

Step one: locate snowsuit

Step two: complain about it still snowing

Step three: locate which pile of snow the car is under

Step four: commence project snow removal

Step five: laugh at lame joke from stupid neighbor about wanting me to do his car next?

Step six: finally able to open door, start and let heat while finish scraping

Step seven: watch snow plow go by and make a 3 foot wall of snow behind car

Step eight: get a temporary case of tourettes, them convince myself that my cavalier can bust through the wall of snow

Step nine: enter car and hit the gas in reverse... move 2 inches and get stuck

Step ten: do the rock n roll, forward and reverse method until the car is freed from the white snowy abyss

Step eleven: chant while driving, stay in the two track…stay in the two track. (The two tracks is where the snow is already mashed down by previous drivers) and look at the cars in the ditch that did not stay in the two track and be glad it is not me.

Step twelve: arrive at work safely...to find a four foot wall of snow blocking the door.


Does anyone elses yard look like a Polar Bear habitat? we got at least12 inches of snow this weekend, and sable, the princess is really not wanting to go in it. I am certain she is feeling trapped in this apt. with no walks. I know she would rather go to the park or riverwalk (which i cannot say either of those two words out loud right now or i would have a rendition of riverdance right here in the living room) I think tomorrow I will have to arrange for a trip to Petsmart (can't say that out loud either). So anyway after unburying my car, getting stuck two times in the road and once in a parking space, I will have to come home and shovel a pathway into the yard so the princess don't drown in snow and then take her to Petsmart so she can pick out what she wants from Santa Paws! (shh don't tell her that there is really no Santa Paws)

i have a feeling i should not have put off Christmas shopping... i hope it stops snowing soon.

Bromance...wtf ?

Does anyone remember when MTV used to stand for Music Television? This channel would actually play music videos. I am sure I am dating myself in saying that I do.

I was up last night because I could not sleep, I turned on MTV to see if maybe by some slim chance there was going to be music videos on, of course not, how silly of me to think that…but what I did see was a commercial for some show called “Bromance” I was thinking great this is a show on gay men and their romances. I was wrong. It simply is a term for guys who are “Best Friends”

Does this “Bromance” creep anyone else out, I don’t know maybe I am wrong but when I think of “Romance” and then “Bro” I don’t get images of best buds just hanging out at the bar or tattoo joint tossing back a beer. It brings images to mind of guys who are maybe in a romantic relationship sitting in front of the fire place with bottles of wine...(omg get out of my head) who am I to judge…to each their own but I don’t want visuals.

So anyway I don’t know what this show “Bromance” is about other than it is some spin off from The Hills and some guys are competing to be some other guy’s best friend. All I want to know is where is the damn music videos?

"Friend"ly Body Cavity Search?

I would like to present to you the second Siren award for:

Unfit Friend and Unfit Mother of the Year Award

Taken from my local newspaper (yes I X'ed out location details)
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
By CRYSTAL SOMEONEFROMTHENEWSPAPER

Suzy Kucera says it was a ''cat fight,'' but the XXXXX County Prosecutor's Office is calling what happened in XXXXXX Township on Nov. 14 a sexual assault and an assault with a dangerous weapon. Kucera, 32, of XXXXX, has been arraigned on charges of third-degree criminal sexual conduct after allegedly conducting a ''body cavity search'' on a 29-year-old woman whom she accused of taking a $100 bill from her purse. The assault with a dangerous weapon charge stems from her allegedly striking the same woman on purpose in a parking lot.
The two women were at the Rite Aid store at the corner of XXXXX Avenue and XXXXX Road and were planning to purchase some liquor. Kucera told police she noticed a $100 bill was missing from her purse. She said she figured her friend took the money from her purse earlier when they stopped at another store and Kucera left her purse in the car when she went inside to buy cigarettes. (she refers to victim as her friend, i am thinking that this is going to put a kink in their friendship...well unless her friend is a lesbian and likes things hardcore???)

Accounts of what happened next differ. The alleged victim said Kucera drove to a parking lot of a vacant nearby business and that when the victim jumped out of the vehicle, Kucera struck her with the car. The alleged victim claims Kucera then got out and started choking the woman on the hood of her car, ripped open her blouse and also pulled her pants down and performed a body cavity search. She said she was able to escape after that, but that Kucera again attempted to hit her with her car.


XXXXXXX Township Police responded to the initial call of the assault, but the alleged suspect had left, later telling police that she took off because she had arrest warrants out against her.
A XXXXXX Police officer found Kucera at a local tavern, with her children - ages 5 and 13 - sitting outside in her vehicle. (are you kidding me...the kids are in the car this whole time!!!)
Kucera told an officer that she is the one who should have brought charges, since her friend stole the $100 bill her mother had given her that very day.
Kucera said there was indeed a body-cavity search - but that the alleged victim had performed it upon herself, to demonstrate that she did not have the missing bill. (Why does this make no sense to me? I checked myself but I don't have it???)
Officers interviewed the oldest of Kucera's children, who'd been in the back seat at the time, who confirmed much of the alleged victim's account, according to police. If convicted of third-degree criminal sexual conduct, Kucera faces up to 15 years in prison. If convicted of assault with a dangerous weapon (her car), she faces up to four years in prison.

Kucera also was charged with operating a motor vehicle under the influence of intoxicating liquor with children under 16 in the car. Her blood-alcohol level was 0.12, according to results of a breath test. The legal limit in Michigan is 0.07.

Her bond has been set at $20,000, and a settlement conference before XXXXX County District Judge Craig D. XXXXXX is scheduled for Jan. 2. (i really don't care what happens to this crazy bitch, but i do hope someone saves these kids from her.)

Help Me Mr. UPS Man!

You are not going to believe what I did yesterday, but then again considering it is me I guess you would.

Yesterday leaving work I was in a mad rush to make it to the UPS drop box before the driver got there to do the pick-up. I made it to the drop box with 15 minutes to spare. I had the packages in my hands and my cell phone too. In the time it took my brain to catch up with my hands I had not only put the packages in the drop box but my phone too.

I had to wait there for 15 minutes for the UPS guy to show up to get my phone out. I was relieved to find out from him that this was not the first time someone had dropped something inadvertently in the box. He said one guy had accidently dropped his keys in there. I thanked the man in brown and was on my way I had one missed call and so I had to call them back and explain why I did not answer the phone. He informed me that was the best excuse he has heard for not answering his call; I think he thinks that I made it up.

Have you ever dropped your cell phone someplace weird?

One Tequila…Two Tequila…

Well Friday night I had my first taste of Patron. I can see how this is going to be a problem for me already. This tequila is so smooth it just slides right down I mean no need to wait 5 seconds for your throat to stop burning…while you make the wincing face.

Well 3 shots later I am standing there with a strapped on… (I know what your thinking TNO) guitar. Tossing my hair around wildly while thinking I am playing like a rock star, but in reality I am missing notes like crazy. Signing along to “My Own Worst Enemy” I look over at my friend and she is on the drums. I think she missed them several times before trying to twirl the sticks over her head and wounding at least 2 people. Who knew Rock Band could be so dangerous.

I stumbled through about 8 steps in the Stinkin’ Drunk Twelve Step Program this weekend…

The Call of the Drink - I knew it was going to be at the party, and I also knew I was going to give into peer pressure

Economics – I check the funds and they are low, Christmas time and all so I decide not to eat since the Rice Krispies that morning. That way I knew I would get buzzed on a minimal amount of drinks.

The Suitable Drinking Partner – Well this I had to pass on this seeing as how all of them I work with. They are suitable working partners at best, but I was not sure I wanted to be drinking with them.

Sad Reminiscing – This is when I started thinking about past relationships…I did not care if I saw him naked on the couch with the girl from McDonalds. I know he did love me. However, I did not do any drunken dialing; I could not find the phone.

Wanting to Get Naked and asking strangers to do the same – By this time I was at the bar, and I was tanked. I really did want to get naked, and was thinking it was an excellent idea

Math – I can stay another 20 minutes and then just set my alarm for 20 minutes later, shorten my shower, and leave my hair flat, and still be able to sleep off the hang over before my parents showed up to take me to lunch.

I love being me – I was convinced witty and beautiful, and #1 on Maxim’s Hot 100 List… I really wanted to get naked now; this should have been my indication that it was time to go home.

Invisibility – I believe this is when I started thinking I could do things that bare no witness. Like leaning on the poor guy next to me so I didn’t fall of the bar stool, or taking my bra off because the straps kept slipping down.

This is when my friend realized it was time to get me home. This is why she is my suitable drinking partner; we look out for each other. Hope you all had a good weekend too.

It's Folded I Swear!

Public Service Announcement:
I confessed to Father Muskrat and he called me a Ho Ho Ho! You can give him hell about it here.

Now on to the post:
Thank you to The Wise Young Mommy for the secret Santa gifts. I told Sable she got a “Sable Couch” which seems to be the reason she began wandering around the apartment aimlessly, she must be looking for it. I might have forgot to tell her it was virtual only. I was sitting on the “Siren Couch” reminiscing about roller skating and I remembered the day my sister and I were between competitions, so my mom took us to go get some lunch. We ended up at Wendys which happened to be right next to a Gold’s Gym. (Yes let’s build a Wendys next to the gym so while you peddle your ass of on the elliptical machine you can watch everyone eating their fat juicy hamburgers) Anyway we were standing in line to wait to order and this man standing in front of us was in some spandex. Well my little sister was just the right height to notice a certain bulge…she says rather loudly….
Mom! Do guys fold their things? Tour de Squash

She looked up at my mom and my mom looked at me, she then said “did you tell her that” I shook my head with my mouth still open in shock. My mom then looks at her and say “No they don’t” then my sister turns and looks at the man then points, saying even louder…
“It’s folded I swear, LOOK!”
I think by that time the guy just wanted out of there, everyone was laughing, except my mom and my sister is still pointing at it. My mom tells me to go find us a table and take my sister with me. The guy got his salad to go, and my mom came to the table, we ate and on the way back to the rink my sister whispers to me…I swear it was folded!

Secret Santa Can Suck it! for Dani

So Bee came up with this crazy gift exchange and Dani at Mom's Crazy Life got stuck with me. I have not ever seen her blog so I had to do some research, to come up with some gifts. Well i opened her page and the first thing I see is her header...6 Kids... *rubs eyes* yep 6 kids.... So my first gift is...

Mary Poppins, so Dani can relax and know the kids have had their spoon full of sugar. Hmmm maybe I should get her a major dental plan for all the kids too.

So then the next thing i see is this amazing shirt that pretty much turns anyone who wears it into a sexual god/goddess. I felt she totally needed one of these shirts, just for those days she did not feel like one already.and lastly i would be the worst gift exchanger ever if i did not give her these:

her pre- six children boobs back. Hope you enjoy all your gifts Dani. I enjoyed your blog, and will be stopping back often so I remember my birth control. j/k Hope you and your family have a happy and safe holiday season.

Covered in Snow and Stalked

I slipped and slides down my sidewalk on my way to the car. I yank on the frozen door a few times and it finally opens which almost sent me into the snow bank behind me. So I lean in the car and turn the dial on the heater to defrost. I put the key in the ignition and start the car. That is when it happened… I got a pile of snow dumped directly on my back and down the back of my pants. It seems in my mad rush to get to work I did not have time to put on a coat or remember I had the windshield wipers on last night. I look around to see who saw this act of idiocy and sure enough there is creepy neighbor man staring at me… well laughing. So not only is my back covered in snow, but the inside of the car and catch-all thing at the bottom of the door had snow in it. I picked up as much as I could then I stomped back in the house to change.

I am so glad my house sold but damn I miss my garage.

I also have an urge to poke out Mr. creepy neighbor guys eyes with a stick I am beginning to feel like I have my very own personal stalker…

~Flustered and Freezing
Siren

Sheesh!

Ok i am offically weirded out today by my muppets magic 8 ball...

I asked it a question and I got its answer

then I e-mailed someone and asked the same question and i got the same answer..."Sheesh"

No i am not kidding....freaky!
Maybe there is more to this magic 8 ball thing than i thought.

I have just always used it as more of a suggestion, a second opinion....
I better start taking it more seriously.

When the body that lived at your single will, With its whimper of welcome, is stilled (how still!) When the spirit that answered your every mood Is gone -wherever it goes - for good, You will discover how much you care, And you will give your heart to a dog to tear." (excerpt of a poem by Rudyard Kipling)

~sighs~ Will this feeling ever go away, the guilt, the emptiness. After coming home (where ever that happened to be at the time) for 8 years to a cold wet nose and soft warm silky fur anxiously awaiting my touch, I guess it is natural for me to feel helpless and lost when I open the that door and listen for the sound of his collar jingling. The sound that I loved, that told me all was well, all was safe. No jingle. No sense. Silence. Skyy is no longer there to greet me. I sit on the step and wonder if I gave as much happiness as I received.

I was with him that day…that day that ripped through my soul and shattered my heart. The needle went in and in minutes I watched my baby, my Skyy’s soul slip away…he stopped breathing right there with His head in my lap…I could have said NO, I could have stopped it…I wanted to be so selfish, I wanted to scream…I pet his head and loved him the whole time…He was sedated heavily before the injection and the vets assured me he felt nothing. I sat there forever and held his lifeless body. The vets where hurting too, as Skyy and I had become quite a fixture in there for the last 3 years. They left me alone with Him and I held his still warm furry head and looked at his fur, such a vibrant reddish brown and white, so soft…I knew Skyy was no longer here. I am still hurting so I don’t know if it was closure for me to witness it, but I knew I did not want Skyy to be alone. I allowed myself to sit there and hold him a few more minutes I tried to memorize him and how his fur felt, how blue his eyes were. I knew that he had died painlessly, and that his soul had kept on running.
I don’t know if the pain will go away anytime soon and I don’t know when the tears will stop falling, I guess it means I am alive…but I look out at the snow and know he loved this time of year…Damn I miss him.

Soar good soul on eagles wings, but please come comfort me in my dreams…

The Speech

So the last time I got my walking papers it was over the phone. The relationship had lasted quite a while.

HIM: I am sorry I just don’t think this is going to work any longer, I need to get my life together and I don’t think I will be ready for a serious relationship for at least 3 to 5 years.

ME: Prison?

HIM: “…”

Actually I did not really hear too much after that, all I know is that I got “The Speech” are males pre-programmed to deliver the speech? Do they come equiped with it from the womb. I know they each put their own little spin on it, but I am really beginning to dislike it.

So maybe I have been a bit bitter or turned off to the whole dating thing and my friend is fed up with me being a hermit for most of 2008. I got to work Thursday morning and she forced me to go out with her this weekend…by weekend I mean we started it Thursday night and I also went out Friday night, Saturday night and now I have plans for tonight. (Sunday she let me rest) The problem with this plan is I don’t think I want to pick up a man at a bar. Last time I began a relationship with a man at the bar, the first time I let him come to my house he took a shit in my toilet, and it was as big as my leg.

HIM: “Dude, come look at this! Do you think it will go down?”

ME: “…”

Ok so that time, I was the one that delivered the speech

I was thinking about this “its not you, its me” speech and I thought about the time I used it, I said “its not you, your great, its just I am not ready…” well I lied and it really was him (no it was not over the poop show and tell) So all the times I got the speech and the guy said "its not you" it really was me, and i guess all logic would support that fact seeing as how the only common thing in all my failed relationships is me.

News Flash:
I am not perfect and I have my share of idiot moments, but I figure if that can’t handle me at my worst, they sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

So on that note I am seeking a Super Sexy Boggie Man Slayer (a.k.a Lovey Dovey Bedtime Player) who can take the good with the bad and love me anyway.

Car Troubles

This was Friday's post but i got tagged so now it has turned into Saturdays post, even though it happened on Friday. (confused yet?)


So I go outside this morning and I am dealing with a slight hangover from one to many martinis last night. This caused me to hit the snooze one too many times. I had to rush Sable to do her stuff so I could get in the car and get to work. I finally get to my car, but I can’t get in it, all four doors are frozen shut. I pull and pull and pull… then I swear and move to the next door. (a glad my hell hole house sold, but i miss having a garage) I don’t understand why karma hates me. Is this what I get for scraping off the car parked next to me windshield on Wednesday? (yes, I saw the movie Pay It Forward, it was a nice thing to do) So I finally think maybe I can slam my hip into the door and jar it loose (I knew those years of belly dancing class would come in handy)…well I think I bruised my hip, but the door would not open. Finally the guy stopped laughing who was watching out the window and came out with a bucket of hot water, he poured it around the door and it opened. 10 minutes later I was at work then I noticed this…

This is my tire, as you can see it has been violated many times yesterday by the parking Nazi. It reminds me of that old-time gum fruit stripes…you can’t see the colors well because this is my crappy camera phone. My goal is to get my whole tire filled up and then he will not be able to tell if I have been in the same spot for two hours or not. I did not say it was the best plan, just a plan.

Well I guess I better get some Advil and get to work.

Peace out!



On a side note: I just finished this book, now I can start reading Twlight (please no spoilers, no I have not seen the movie) Anyway girls, You might want to check this book out if you have a oral fixation. It is filled with secrets and tricks and other fun stuff…and that is all I am gonna say about that! Your man/boyfriend/boytoy will be very very happy that you did. Tickle His Pickle - The Hands On Guide to Penis Pleasing by: Sadie Allison

Scent Meme (Tagged)

Nooter the dog tagged me with a scent meme. And good thing he posted the definition of meme or I would still be sitting here trying to figure it out what the hell he was talking about.

Siren Speaks up:

Five smells I do like:
My blend-able oil scents
Lemon Lavender Yankee Candles
Evergreen
The Lillac tree at my parents house, it always means I am home
Coco – Chanel

Five smells I don’t like:
Smoke
Sugar beats Rotting (if you have ever had the pleasure of living near a sugar plant you know what I am talking about)
Sauerkraut (gross)Hospital Smell (I don’t know what it is but I no likee)Metro Bus Exhaust

Sable Barks in:
Five smells I do like:
Peanut Butter
Chicken McNuggets
Central Bark (the dog park)
Squirrel and Cat Terror (I must hunt them – I am with Nooter on this one)
Cheese

Five smells I don’t like:
My own poop (I have to cover it up fast by tossing dirt or snow over it with my back legs)
CK-9 for a Cat or a Dog (gawd! I hate when she sprays that stuff on me)
Tommy Holedigger (I hate when she sprays this on me too)
Bath Water or Rain (yes, I can smell it - Princesses don’t like getting wet)
The Vet (the whole place just smells suspicious)

-------------------------------------------------

Melissa I am tagging you and Sable is taggin Chloe

I know... we just did the tag thing but i guess this is what happens we get tagged back.

Ima also tag Jorm and gottaloveme. I dont think i am gonna tag any of my other readers for fear they might hurt me since I just tagged them a few days ago.

The First Ever Siren Award!

Lil Wayne according to MSN is the most prolific, ubiquitous and successful performer on today's music scene, He was also the most rewarded by the Recording Academy on Wednesday, receiving eight Grammy nominations including album of the year for "Tha Carter III." (He just looks kinda scarey to me) Anyway.....

Today on my blog I would like to give him a award of my very own, I am going to give him the “Siren Award for Public Masturbation". He grabs his cock more times than I can count. He also did it several times during his performance at the 2008 MTV Music awards. (If you missed it I am sure you can look it up on YouTube). He even had his pants half off. So Congrats to Lil Wayne, I salute you for your support of public masterbation.

Peas Off!

Well Melissa, Yes there is an Idiot Girls Action Adventure Club. I have an Official signed certficate from Laurie Notaro herself. Who happens to be my hero. She has a series of books detailing her crazy life, If you enjoy reading treat yourself to one of her books this Christmas may I suggest True Tales for the Top of the Naughty List.

True Tale from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life

Okay, maybe I had gotten too cocky; maybe I was simply just too full of myself due to my outstanding skill with ATM’s and credit card terminals. It took practice and dedication, but I can work an ATM faster than corporate executive hooked on cocaine. I guess it was this skill that made me think I could handle the self-service checkout lane, that and partially because every other open check-out lane had lines longer than the box office selling Victoria Secret Model show tickets for the extra-naked version of the show.

The local chain store had set up 3 self-serve stations on either side of a special cashier stand, which was positioned at the head like the host of a game show. I stepped up to the only unoccupied station and pressed the button that said, “START.” The machine greeted me, so far, so good, and a computerized voice instructed me to “SCAN FIRST ITEM.” I picked up the Cherry Garcia in my basket, found the UPC code and held it above the scanning screen. BLEEP! I heard as the code was scanned. “PUT ITEM IN BAG,” the machine suggested. I put the ice cream in the bag and turned and smiled at the man now in line behind me, as if to say, “WATCH ME. I WILL AMAZE YOU.” I positioned the next item, a frozen bag of peas, right over the scanner, but I couldn’t get it to BLEEP, so I did it again and again. BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP! The machine suddenly caught up, charging me for three bags of peas. “HEY!” I said as jerked the bag of peas away from the scanner, which produced another BLEEP! The man waiting in line behind me showed his amazement by putting his hands on his hips and shaking his head. “PUT ITEM IN BAG,” the machine said. “No wonder these lines take forever,” I heard the man mutter to his much younger girlfriend as he tapped his keys on his cart. “She can’t handle technology! She scanned one bag of peas FOUR TIMES. I saw her!” Somehow, I resisted the massive urge to rear up my leg and pitch a fastball bag of peas at his head. “PUT ITEM IN BAG,” the machine insisted again. Apparently pushing the CANCEL button in the area of 40 times is enough to alert the cashier, who abandoned his game show host post and came to my station. “What are you doing?” he asked me angrily. “You can’t cancel now!” “PUT ITEM IN BAG,” the machine continued, as I was thinking about my melted ice cream. He canceled the extra bags of peas. “Maybe you’d do better next time in a conventional check-out lane,” the cashier suggested. “Oh yeah? Peas off!” I replied angrily as I walked out of the store with my car keys in hand. When the man who was behind me in line came out of the store, both he and his concubine were both shocked and disgusted when they experienced the first drive-by pea-ing. But they should have known it was coming.

Tag!

I got tagged..So, thanks to Jormengrund at Yet Another Day in Paradise...

The rules are simple.

First, Link the person who tagged you.

Then post the rules on your blog.

Next, share seven random or weird facts about yourself

Then, tag 7 random people and include links to their blogs.

Finally, let each person you've tagged know about it by commenting on their blogs.

7 weird things about me:

1. I share a brain with someone, I always knew I shared a brain with someone, because at moments in my life I can look back and see clearly by my actions that I did not have it…this can happen several times a day.

2. I always have to pee when I am in the store looking at greeting cards or scrapbook paper. It does not seem to matter even if I go just before leaving the house.

3. I have to have the silk part of my blanket between my fingers when I sleep…this stems back to my childhood blanket…which I called “silky”… hey girl could have much worse habits

4. I know how to use a scroll saw…I lock myself out of the house and share a brain with someone but I can operate a scroll saw…does this worry anyone else?…and yes I currently have all my fingers

5. I am a member of the Idiot Girls Action Adventure Club…and it is truly an adventure everyday

6. I used to competitively roller skate (yes like ice skating, but on roller skates), it think it was my parents way of keeping us active and off of drugs. Did this for several years and if you doubt me I will show you my parents basement o’ trophies. Got to travel a lot sometimes I miss it.

7. I am a gamer, most of my social life is on a video game called Final Fantasy XI, I am a geek, a computer junkie….then this is coming from a girl who would wear a Firewire thong and considers Xoxide and Tiger Direct porn...what can I say I am a technical sexual icon *winks* (except when it comes to blogging, links, and html)

*wicked laugh* who to tag

Damn it Jorm you taged most my readers already...

Consider yourself tagged.

The Nemesing One

Taunt Vortex

Melissa

Nooter

Well that is all I got for now. I could make 3 of them list 14 things to make up for the 3 I dont have. Ok... well I am off to deliver the good news

Horoscope Tells All

Ok so I have been in a funk the past few days and ranging somewhere between saintly and a bitch…way too emo for my taste. I usually can take the cards that are dealt to me and laugh about it but these past few days have been challenging to say the least. I have been so critical of myself. So I had to check out what the stars had in store for me.

Scorpio ~ Week of December 1, 2008

A change in your usual routine helps bring inspiration. This could be anything from rearranging the furniture to finding a different route to work. Wednesday is perfect to begin a new project. Follow your dreams on Friday. People may be demanding on Saturday. The weekend is fortunate for romance. Get out of the house and enjoy yourself
-Source MSN Horoscope

Well it seems I should stop blogging and rearrange my furniture so I can be inspired to get out of my mood. I guess I have more than a few projects I can start on Wednesday. I am not so sure I should follow my dreams, that would entail me wiggling down rabbit holes much like a idiot girl version of “Alice in Wonderland”

Cheshire Cat: If I were looking for a white rabbit, I'd ask the Mad Hatter.
Siren: The Mad Hatter? Achooo!!! So sorry, I am allergic to cats

Cheshire Cat: Or, you could ask the March Hare, in that direction.

Siren: Oh, thank you. I think I'll take my chances with the March Hare

Cheshire Cat: Of course, he's mad, too.

Siren: That’s just great, its my wonderland and people have gone mad. The only reason I came here was to escape crazy

Cheshire Cat: Oh, you can't help that. Most everyone's mad here and there.

[laughs maniacally; starts to disappear]

Cheshire Cat: You may have noticed that I'm not all there myself.

Hmmm…and the crap about romance this weekend, all I have to say about that is…Pffft. Maybe MSN did not get the memo that romance is dead; romance has left the building. Maybe that is the reason for my mood, a lack of romance, yeahhh...that could make someone emo and bitchy. However I am leaning more towards a lack of sex.

“I am sure I don't know"

-Source TNO (go click his link up there and give him smiles)
Well I hope my horoscope helps and I am back to my feisty self soon. Have a great week.

Stay Tuned

Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving.
I went shopping with my mom today...
I need time to recover...
I can't feel my feet...

and considering i was up before the sun this morning ninja shopping my brain is not functioning...

please stand by more details to follow.

I want my blankie! (yes i still have a blanket)

Things That Sound Dirty at Thanksgiving but aren't

Disclaimer: "Not all of the following are mine, but these were just too funny to not repeat here" Even this disclamer is not mine.


Whew, that's one terrific spread!


Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.


Talk about a huge breast!


If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!


Are you ready for seconds yet?


Are you going to come again next time?


It's a little dry. Do you still want to eat it?


Just wait your turn, you'll get some!


Don't play with your meat.


Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.


Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?


I didn't expect everyone to come at once!


You still have a little bit on your chin.


You'll know it's ready when it pops up.


Who's turn is it to stuff that old bird?


Would you like me to pour some gravy on that? It's my special blend...


Come on you know what to nibble some more!


I saw how to do this on Food Network


Can I just finish watching the football first?


Whew, that made me sleepy. I'm going to take a nap, then clean up the big mess


Every year it's the same thing


Is it supposed to be that color and consistency?


Just eat it, it's not going to kill you


We're never doing this at our house again


~Best Wishes to You and Your Families This Thanksgiving Holiday

You can stop calling me now!

Well the blood center has been ringing my phone non-stop; I have a rare type of blood (thanks mom & Dad) that is in high demand. They call me all the time, I do not live in fear of collections calls but I do live in fear of the blood center.

I get there they put me in the computer and from that point on I am UPC code. So I answer the 1000 questions I especially like the one where it asks if I am a male who has had sex with another male…Ummm No, last I checked I am not a male. Was this a trick question? Then it asks if I have any of the following afflictions, well considering I did not know what most of them were I just went with No. So I pass that test, and then I was sent in to go see the nurse where she asks more questions, which I also pass.

Now she wants to see my arms, I think this is a little personal since she has not even bought me dinner yet, but then she did not look like it was up for debate. I take off my sweater and exercise my right to bare arms, I guess they looked ok, then she stabbed me in the finger, she said “your iron is great so you can donate”

She sends me over to the guy that is going to take my blood and he looks a little flustered which worries me already. I lay down on the table and he says, “So your allergic to iodine” I nod (thinking well that is what my chart says, at least he can read) So he rubs something else on my arm that is COLD… then he stabs what feels like a steel toothpick, I glare at him. Then he looks at me and says “Do you have lotion on your arms? “Why yes I do, it is from Bath and Body Works, Rain Leaf, Do you like it?” He was not amused …”Well the tape won’t stick” he said. So his assistant had to get the plastic tape which I was sure was going to rip my skin off when he went to remove it.

Well much time passes and to make a long story short, I started to give blood but somewhere towards the end I guess I stopped, he muttered something about me being dehydrated and I mentioned that lotion helps that, he says so does water. Well he had to move the needle and when he did I saw blood fly out and run down my arm, I think that is when I passed out. Well they got the rest of my donation and now my arm is wrapped up so much that I don’t think I could bend it if I wanted too.

Well at least I got pretzels and grape juice.
Be nice to me today, I gave blood!

WHY?

Why when I am running late is there a slow car or semi truck pissing on the wheels of progress?

Why did this ribbon that I bought for the Toy for Tots raffle gift turn my fingertips red?

How come I have one boss who is as laid back as they come and one boss who is like a humming bird on Prozac?

How come my large Pepsi from Arby’s does not fit in my cup holder and why was it more ice than caffeine?

Why don’t I know a thing about html and when will I learn?

Why do I have three planners and can’t seem to combine them into one?

Why am I so directionally challenged and get lost when ever there is a detour?

Why is the community printer on my desk, and why does it sound similar to a NASA launch?

Why has Greenpeace not been picketing outside our commercial loan officer’s window since he is single-handedly destroying a rain forest by the massive amount of printing he does?

How come I can’t find the damn movie Mama Mia for a gift exchange party in two weeks did every store suddenly sell out, or did it suck so bad they just stopped making it?

How come this cotton candy lollipop is so good?

Ok, I am done for now…maybe you can help me out, maybe some questions are just meant to remain unanswered. Either way thanks for stopping by, Happy Thanksgiving wishes to you all.

Professional People Pleaser

"If you just set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compromise on anything at any time, and you would achieve nothing." Margaret Thatcher

 

Sometimes I find myself doing just that trying to please the masses. Ok, so this way of thinking is etched into my brain at work…the customer is always right, make the customer happy…and sometimes outside of work when meeting new people I will plead the fifth, or just leave to avoid a personal conflict or drama. In that moment when I choose to do that, did I lose a piece of myself or does it make me less of a person because I stand quiet in my convictions and give others the freedom to have theirs? Does it give me inner strength that I am able to hold my tongue that can cut deeper than any knife ever could?
And Yes, I care about what people think, do, and say when it involves me, and yes, it would be nice to be adored by everyone, but that is really not possible…so guess what, I am me, and I may be soft spoken at times, or choose to remove myself from an issue and not deal with it at all, but this I will say. When I choose to let you in, below the surface, below the professional people pleaser image, then you will know me and you will hear me loud and clear.
I am so thankful for my friends the ones who allow me to be “me” without passing judgment and without fear of saying something wrong. Those are the ones who truly hear me.

Got Semi?

Umm… does anyone else see this as a problem?
 

I park my car and go into the building, while I am in there a semi-truck decides to block me in. I can’t pull forward since there is a building in the way and I cannot back up. I was trapped and I knew with my luck the parking Nazi would be around to give me a ticket. I had no idea which building the movers were in. I could only wait until one of them appeared and ask them if they would back up and let me out. When the guy finally did make it back to the truck with a flattened box in one hand and a box cutter in the other I asked him (nicely) to move his big truck. He did not seem to be happy with me, but then again I was not very happy I had been blocked in either. He asked me if I could wait 20 more minutes and I responded with a RAWR. I warned him not to piss me off because I fight like a girl…I could clearly see him start to tremble as he got in the truck and backed up. I am fairly certain as I drove away that he flipped me off but I did not care I was free at last.

Cell Phone Etiquette

I go to the woman’s bathroom at work today and some lady is in there (in the other stall) peeing and talking on the cell phone, which ok, I have to admit when nature calls by all means answer (no pun intended)…but I went into the next stall (only two) and peed (lol…too much info) but when I was done I did not know if I should flush the toilet or not…so I stood there wishing i had the magic 8 ball (i always consult the magic 8 ball on all important decisions) I thought the conversation might end, but it didn’t, well I did not want to spend anymore time in there so I flushed the toilet, but I am so sure the person on the other end of the phone heard it. GAWD!!!

Lids Off!

I just wanted a snack and nothing peeves me off more than not being able to get the lid off a jar of salsa, jelly, olives, or whatever I might be in the mood for. Who puts these things on anyway? The runner-ups from the Iron Man Competition? What’s a girl to do, well this girl used to go to the neighbors but now since my neighbor is so creepy I got the Black and Decker Lids-Off. This thing is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Now whenever I am swearing at a difficult to open jar or to accident prone to use a manual can opener I just use this little baby.  Who needs a man? Ok well maybe I do but, I can tell you it is not for opening jars. I have other things in mind.

Ten Reasons Why I am Single

• I am a certificate holding member of the Idiot Girls Action Adventure Club! (if you doubt this please see past entries)



• Fruit Loops for dinner - five nights a week!



• My bed is only big enough for me and the dog!



• I play too much FFXI! (video games)



• My driving scares people!



• Sunday mornings I am scrubbing a stamp off my hand, not from a bar but from a computer show!



• I blog about my dates!



• I drive a “Queervalier”! (that is Tonya speak for Cavalier)



• That light travels faster than sound so people appear bright to me until I hear them speak!



• I am a complete asshole magnet

For Swipes Sakes!

Swipe = to slide (a magnetic card) quickly through an electronic device that reads data.

Here's what happened when I got to work this morning and attempted to enter the building.

I swipe my card…
Beep, door will not open
Beep, door will not open
I walk around to the other door and swipe...

Beep, door opens…. (ah which means I am not fired)

With all this annoyance, you would think it would be easier to have a damn regular key.

I watch my co-worker reluctantly go to the door, he digs his wallet for about 2 mins and finally finds his access card. he does the same with his card.
Beep, door will not open
Beep, door will not open
Beep, door will not open
Beep, door will not open
A this point I start wondering how many times he was going to do it. I watched him swipe that thing so many times, I thought he was trying to make fire, after I was done laughing I told him the swiper thing on the front door is working.

Now this would be great how ever that door is just to the main building but it does not get us into the office.

On the inside we find Carla who is PISSED she has been waiting since 7:00am and looking for a chair to toss through the window. Finally a hour later the electronic locks release automatically and we can get in.

It is a good thing these doors opened up before the bar down the street did.

Bug Off!

On the way to work this morning I am doing the usual:

Chap Stick in mirror - Check

Play with hair - Check

Z93 – Check (i.e. Papa Roach - Forever blasting with head bobbing to the beat flashing people the “rock on” horns when they stare at me)

That is when I felt it….something was tickling my arm. I figured since I was playing with my hair that one had come loose, I look down and to my terror it was not a hair. It was the biggest black and red bug I have ever seen. I suddenly freak the fuck out swerving wildly as I try to get it off me and out of the car. I flick it with my finger only to discover that it flies. In my girly bug phobia mind it might as well been the size of a pterodactyl ready to bite my face off, my reaction would have been similar. I pull off the side of the road and get out of the car, the bug had won round one. It was in the car out of the cold and I was standing outside freezing. Not two minutes later this man stops and asks if there is something wrong with my car. I managed to whimper a "yes, there is something wrong with it...there is a huge bug in there and I am not getting in till it flies out. "

This man proceeded to climb all over my car, found the bug, killed it and removed it. I thanked him for being so brave and then I got back in the car, called my boss to let him know I was on the way, and why i was running a little late...i think he finds me amusing.

I do give a (dog) shit!

While my dog was taking a poo this morning on our walk, a crabby lady walked by me & from the look on her face i knew in her head she was thinking, "i hope that bitch picks that shit up!" but i didn't. and i don't.

this may piss off a lot of you... but i'm not the asshole that walks thru the common areas & lets my dog shit at will. (when we do walk thru there, i DO pick up after her.) i walk the outskirts, along the ditch, along the treelines...

in this "green" enviornment movement & being a treehugger myself.... WHY would i pick up my dog's poop - put it in a plastic bag & then throw it into a container lined with an even heavier plastic bag just to appease YOU?

my dog's poop helps the plants grow. it goes back to the earth. and with the pouring rain this morning... it's pry already gone. what fucking sense does it make that i pick up some thing that's totally biodegradable, put it in a plastic bag which last forever & put it into yet another huge (thicker) plastic bag... to be hauled to a landfill to rot the earth?

i know not everyone is as dog friendly as i am... but shit (literally) - give me a break. if i'm taking the time to walk my dog off the beaten path, don't get pissed when i'm not bending over to pick up my dog's poop to make YOU happy

Just Another Day

Ok, so today got off to a rough start, I am stumbling around ½ awake because my princess dog ninja-ed me out of bed this morning with a "Dragon Kick" to the back in an effort to be let outside. I fall out of the bed and can't find my slippers so I am walking into the kitchen with her behind me I am stepping on all the white chicken looking pieces of dog food on the way to put her outside...what the heck! I take it that is her way of letting me know that she does not like the white pieces of her new dog food, she eats the rest but she leaves the white pieces on the floor. How she manages to get the white pieces into the bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, and living room while I am sleeping at night is beyond me. I think I should have named her Houdini.



Later: I am driving and my boss calls "hey can you pick up some keys" so I turn around and head back in the other direction, when my boss calls again "never mind I can't get a hold of her to let her know you are coming to pick up the keys" so I turn around again and head back. My phone rings again I try to answer it and drop it under the seat, pull over and grab it just as it stops ringing, I call my boss back. "She is at a breakfast meeting so you can just meet her there" I turn back around and head back in the other direction again…My boss calls again and I suddenly develop a case of tourettes...and then answer it. "nevermind now she shut her phone off" so I turn around again. I had to stop at the gas station on the way. It was ok I was in no hurry to get to work since I am waiting for one of my bosses to call my other boss so we can have a re-meeting of the pre-meeting for the meeting tomorrow. You see the 3 of us met about this meeting once already and I created handouts, team charts and an agenda…and now there are all these changes from boss 1 so I make those and then boss 2 has no idea why the meeting format is the way it is…which might have been helpful to be brought up at the pre-meeting for the meeting, however it was not, soooo.... now we are having a re-meeting about the pre-meeting. This will all result in major changes to the handouts, teams, and agenda, which in turn means the time I spent pre-planning so I was not rushing at the last minute was a total waste. This is why I dislike meetings.



in other idiot news:

So don't get me wrong in this f-ed up housing market I am so glad my house sold I was about ready to call my realtor and have him add the music from the movie "Psycho" to my virtual tour and we could change the listing to say that the first floor is purgatory and the basement was called hell... I mean come on… anyway thank you sucker for buying that cursed house!



anyways...what was i getting at.....oh.....


So during the move I seem to have done something bad to my elbow. The Dr. says I have tendonitis and it is still bothering me. I tried to consult my "Idiot Girls Guide to Injury Management" but there is really nothing I can do about it but keep popping anti-inflammatory drugs. I tried to pick up my stapler and it must have gained weight, I almost cried and dropped it…this tendonitis affects your arm from the elbow down and could really be a problem.

I hope tomorrow is a better day.

The Birthday Girl

I could not sleep last night…which sucked since I have to get up early to go to work. I am fairly certain that my co-workers think I had Carnation Instant Bitch for Breakfast. Well it is my Birthday so I can be the Birthday Bitch if I want to.
I did get one Birthday message in my in box and it said:

I hope you have a calm and blessed day. You have made great strides this past year, they happen slowly and in small steps. But when you look back you can see the progress. We each tend to think we are not getting anywhere, but we eventually look up or look back and then we see the small steps we where taking have moved us miles ahead. Many people in our office and in your day to day life count on you as a person who knows what to do in many circumstances, keep on going forward, soon you will look back and realize you are closer than you think to a changed life. I am glad you are in my circle of friends.
I feel better now.

 

Let there be Light

I seem to be having an issue with electric lately. It started a couple days ago when I came home and my apt. was 40 degrees. (This is due in large part to karma, because I was complaining at my parent’s house because it was 95 degrees in there because my poor grandma was visiting and is always cold.) My fish (beta) was so pissed, and freezing his fin off, so I got him in some warm water and called the heating and cooling guy. The guy finally gets to my house, and is talking to me but looking at my tits since they are pointing at him twice...he finally moves to the the furnace and determines that it is the “glow-plug” that went out. I nod at him and look clueless…all I wanted to know was how long is this damn glow-plug going to take to get fixed…he continues to tell me it happens from time to time…that it is like a light bulb that burns out, I nod and continue to look clueless… So he was fixing it for 30 mins. Then he begins to write a bill…lets see $51.00 for 30 mins of work (I am in the wrong business) and one glow-plug at $122.00 he informs me that he won’t charge for the service call (dude i am in an apt. i dont care what you charge i am not paying for it). I smile and think that is one expensive damn light bulb. So all in all not to bad $173.00 bill to landloard and the dog, fish and I are defrosting. Thank You… Mr. Heating Man.

However little did I know at the time, but this event cause a light bulb chain reaction in my apt. First the light in my refrigerator went out. Good thing my bottle of Smirnoff is so huge I can find it in the dark. Well anyway it is still out due to the fact I can’t find it…I am convinced that it is behind that plastic cover in the back that I can’t get off, even though I used the lucky screw driver that worked so wonderful in opening the locked window when I so skillfully locked myself out of my old house. Then the light in the lamp went out. This would not usually be a big deal, but I happened to see the movie, I cant remember what it was called…but it had Vin Diesel and the things that swooped down and torn you limb from limb if you were in the darkness. Needless to say, I MUST by all means stay out of the darkness for fear some creature or pissed off tooth faerie (Darkness Falls) will have their way with me….ok I got sidetracked…anyway... Then the light bulbs in my bedroom went out. This actually forced me to go to Target and get light bulbs. I had no idea that light bulbs have there own isle. There are so many to choose from. I grab two boxes (one for backup) and head back home. I put one in the lamp and then replace the two burnt out ones in my bedroom. I flip on the light and WOW….I need sunglasses in my bedroom seems I got 100 watt bulbs and they are a hell of a lot brighter than the 60 watt. So I shut off the light and take one of the bulbs back out. So now my world is bright again, and the dog and I will quit running into each other.

Other notes on the day...

• I made the Honor Roll

• White-out does not work well on lime green post-it notes

• I think i want Apple Jacks for dinner

Trip to Petsmart

Sable, wanna go to petsmart? *commence Riverdance* so i get dressed and brush teeth and hair with her following me from room to room, she does not want me to miss any part of her dramatic rendition. I almost trip over bucket of mop water, so i decide to dump it out. *prepare for idiot girl moment* as i am dumping it down the toilet, i forgot i had a wash rag in there as i watch it get sucked into the toilet with the rest of the water...i look at sable with eyes wide and sable decides to take an intermission. Crap! what am i gonna do, i get a hanger and go fishing for it but i can't reach it, so i flush the toilet and watch the water rising...and rising...and rising... i get the plunger and plunge...success it went all the way through...SWEET! no harm no foul. I flush the toilet again to make sure...that was close. I look at Sable and i swear this dog is shaking her head at me. I say ok i am almost ready. *commence Act III of Riverdance* i put on my shoes and we get in the car. When Sable gets so excited she does this whine/whimper thing...she does this for a good 10 minutes so i turn up the radio. i put the window down a lil (yes in Michigan and i can put the window down for now). We get to Petsmart and Sable is so very excited to do the following:
drag me across the parking lot and in the door wrapping me in the leash at least twice

sniff others dogs butts and some peoples too

try to go into the adopt a cat room

eat out of the bulk bins

visit the fish, lizards and birds

pick out her treats, toys, and bones (she hates when i put the doggie hats on her)

go to the check out and put her front paws on the counter till the cashier gives her a treat.
all in all it was a good visit and she was tuckered out so laid down in the back seat on the way home.

TXTing for Idiots

 

Ok, I have to admit I have text messaged more in the last week than I have in my whole life. I will be the first to admit I am not very textually active. (EBBAF- error between brain and fingers?) I have seen people whip out messages at light speed. I use more of the turtle speed method. (TMOT – trust me on this) I have also become aware that I should not try to send a text message while driving. Today on the way home I think I took out a street sign, a mailbox, and a biker…ok I am just kidding but I think the only time I was in my lane was between letters. (HHIS-head hanging in shame) Is there some kind of texting for idiot's book? (IRMC – I rest my case)